My New Year's Resolutions

So I sat and thought about it this morning, and tried to come up with some interesting goals for myself. Things that would really make me stretch and grow and stuff. Then I decided that was lame, and it would be a lot more fun to create some resolutions for other people. So without further ado, here are some resolutions I have created for my family, and I hereby resolve to watch and see if they accomplish them.

HUSBAND:
1. Resolve to bring your wife Dove chocolate at least once a month. Preferably twelve times.
2. Resolve to create an awesome color-coded excel program that will track Madeline's vital statistics, such as number of times she spills juice on a newly mopped floor and average length of her self-imposed timeouts.
3. Resolve to conquer the world through hypnosis.
4. Resolve to stop waking your wife in the middle of the night, and then not remembering it in the morning. Emergencies only.
5. Resolve to actually watch something on you big screen television besides football. (March Madness qualifies.
6. Resolve to use subtle Harry Potter references at least twice a week.
7. Resolve to use your new search optimization skills to make the top google search results for "baloney" your facebook account, work website, and this blog, in that order.
8. Resolve to get in your antsy cleaning mode at least once a week, or whenever your wife is feeling particularly lazy.
9. Resolve to eat more green beans. We won't push the peas thing.
10. Resolve to not get any concussions. Ever.

DAUGHTER:
1. Resolve to start waking up at nine. And going to sleep at seven.
2. Resolve to use your new cleaning supplies on mom's kitchen floor daily. It's all your mess anyway.
3. Resolve to eat more chicken. Kids are supposed to like chicken.
4. Resolve to make "Yes" your new favorite word.
5. Resolve to create a secret club in nursery, with yourself as president, and use it to extra treats at snack time.
6. Resolve to quit begging food off of other people in sacrament meeting and just eat your own dratted goldfish.
7. Resolve to use your charming smile and good looks to get into a prestigious preschool, so that you might be in a position to care for your parents financially in their old age.
8. Resolve to make friends with someone besides your uncle Bryce, so that you won't shout his name over and over every time we get into the car.
9. Resolve to get fatter so all of your pants will fit.
10. Resolve to finish all the books you've started this year, such as Doctrines of Faith, Plato's Discourses, and the Bible. And read them this time, instead of tearing out the pages.

And thus concludes our grand plans for this year. Rest assured that we will be working tirelessly to make these resolutions fruitful. Or someone will, and I'll be sleeping. May you all have a very happy New Year. See you on the flip side.