So the other day, we found out my mother-in-law was getting rid of a twin bed. And she graciously gave it to us, which is awesome, because quality sleeing equipment is expensive, people. And even though Madeline won't need to move out of her toddler bed for a while, I am all about anticipating the future here. So yesterday Jessie went and picked it up and brought it home. Madeline was practically dying all day to get the BIG BED. And when it appeared for about two minutes last night that she wouldn't be able to go get the bed with Dad our house turned into Crocodile Tears Central. It would have broken our hearts if it wasn't so funny. And then went she got to go it was like Christmas. And then when the bed actually got here...wow. I had no idea she would get so worked up. I wasn't going to try to move her for at least six months because I didn't see the need and Madeline is usually highly resistant to change. But at bedtime, Madeline climbed right on in to the big bed. So we let her stay there. But when we went up to bed ourselves and checked on her, she had migrated back to the toddler bed. I guess she wasn't ready for too much change. (Although the second she woke up this morning she went back to the big bed. We'll see where she ends up napping.)
In other news, we've decided to get organized around here. I don't know why. Maybe we're feeling motivated and disciplined because of our Get Fit plan. Which is going pretty decently. Except for the brownie binge yesterday. I can't help it that brownies are my Kryptonite. If you love me, you will come remove the brownie mixes from my pantry. Anyway. Back to the organization. Jessie has been wanting some of those can organizers that let you use cans in the order you buy them. But like beds, children and liposuction, those suckers are pricey. So Jessie had the brilliant idea of making our own. He went online and found a tutorial to make some out of cardboard boxes and glue. And got some boxes from our helpful neighbors. So now we have a pile of boxes and a plan. We'll let you know how hpthat turns out. We also decided to stock up on some food storage, in case all these earthquakes and the popularity of reality television mean the end of the world is coming, so now I have several cans of beans, oats, wheat, and rice and a book to tell me what to do with them (because the church, in marketing food storage, assumes correctly that I am an idiot. And that in the event of an emergency I will stare stupidly at my two years supply of wheat and go loot the nearest McDonalds. Because I hear their French fries will never grow mold. Natural food storage!) Other planned organizing projects include vague ideas of acquiring a filing cabinet, finally storing all of the clothes Kimberly has outgrown in her quest to be ten feet tall, and buying a chest to hide all the shoes that accumulate in front if the door. Don't these sound like great ideas? We think so. Maybe we'll just write a book about how to get organized and forgo the actual work of doing it. Sometimes I am a genius.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Basketball makes you fit and stuff.
Why hello. Welcome Back from our basketball break. Let's just get the necessities over with so we can talk about other things. My bracket is doing decently, although I'm starting to regret picking Kentucky. Probably not the best idea. I'm loving the upsets and the close games. And the iPad. Because I've gotten to watch approximately 3.4 games on our big screen television because Madeline would rather watch Snow White or Megamind than the Best Sport Ever. Ridiculous. I really don't know who raised her. Maybe it's because her bracket sucks. WHABAM! JIMMERED! (Sorry to all of you who are sick of hearing about him. But really, it's your own fault. For not worshipping idols. Party poopers. All the cool kids are doing it.)
Anyway. There was other stuff after that awesome weekend. Kimberly's appointment went fine, and there were no post vaccination breakdowns. Except mine, because it meant I couldn't use a sick baby as an excuse to watch basketball. Oh well. By the way, Kimberly is very tall. And very hungry. We started her on rice cereal and she just looks at us adoringly as we shovel it into her mouth. She's also tried sweet potatoes this week, rolled over a couple more times (this is news because after doing it the first few times she went on strike for three weeks), and has learned to sit up on her own for 30 seconds to a few minutes before she flops over in surprise at her own daring.
Oh. And in other news, Jessie and I are pretending to get fit. I joined this facebook group of women in my ward who want to lose weight, and Jessie decided he could shed five pounds or so, and we decided to have a weight loss extravaganza. Usually these don't go well. But so far this week I've been pretty good, and this time we're dieting AND exercising (please hold your applause), and setting real goals, and sharing them for accountability, and having weekly weigh-ins, and doing all the legitimate stuff you do when you're hard core and amazing. So you can expect to see me on the cover of some ritzy fashion magazine about June. I would name a specific example as a nifty writing strategy to engage you, the reader, but I don't know any ritzy fashion magazines, and I don't want to guess lest you mock me. But I promise to learn their names when I'm the star model for one of them.
Anyway. There was other stuff after that awesome weekend. Kimberly's appointment went fine, and there were no post vaccination breakdowns. Except mine, because it meant I couldn't use a sick baby as an excuse to watch basketball. Oh well. By the way, Kimberly is very tall. And very hungry. We started her on rice cereal and she just looks at us adoringly as we shovel it into her mouth. She's also tried sweet potatoes this week, rolled over a couple more times (this is news because after doing it the first few times she went on strike for three weeks), and has learned to sit up on her own for 30 seconds to a few minutes before she flops over in surprise at her own daring.
Oh. And in other news, Jessie and I are pretending to get fit. I joined this facebook group of women in my ward who want to lose weight, and Jessie decided he could shed five pounds or so, and we decided to have a weight loss extravaganza. Usually these don't go well. But so far this week I've been pretty good, and this time we're dieting AND exercising (please hold your applause), and setting real goals, and sharing them for accountability, and having weekly weigh-ins, and doing all the legitimate stuff you do when you're hard core and amazing. So you can expect to see me on the cover of some ritzy fashion magazine about June. I would name a specific example as a nifty writing strategy to engage you, the reader, but I don't know any ritzy fashion magazines, and I don't want to guess lest you mock me. But I promise to learn their names when I'm the star model for one of them.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
You Make Me Feel Like Dancing
It's that time of year again. The thrill. The tears. The uncertainty. Digging deep. Flying objects. Lots of running. And that was just putting together my March Madness board with Madeline's help. But seriously, we're looking forward to the commencement of the games around here. Jessie and I are still hemming and hawing about our brackets, but the girls are settled and locked. Kimberly picked straight seeds, or in the case of the play-in games, alphabetically. The girl likes structure. (Really, I just couldn't think of any feasible way to have her pick 'games herself. But you don't get out of March Madness around here just because you're four months old. It's MANDATORY.) Madeline picked her games from flash cards with the team name, logo/mascot (whichever was easiest to grab off google), and seeding. For some reason she became fixated with Arkansas Little Rock, and they smashed opponent after opponent. Despite their incredibly lame logo. And became National Champion. Now I'm glad I didn't make Madeline put money on it, because people look down on you when you fleece your kids like that.
Anyway. Excitement levels around here are go. And I can't guarantee there will be anything on this blog besides basketball the next few weeks. We'll try. Kimberly does have a doctor's appointment today, so you may get a post tomorrow complaining about cranky baby syndrome if her vaccinations don't go well. In which case I may have to sit and hold her all afternoon and read articles about March Madness. My life is really difficult sometimes, but I don't mind sacrificing for my children.
Anyway. Excitement levels around here are go. And I can't guarantee there will be anything on this blog besides basketball the next few weeks. We'll try. Kimberly does have a doctor's appointment today, so you may get a post tomorrow complaining about cranky baby syndrome if her vaccinations don't go well. In which case I may have to sit and hold her all afternoon and read articles about March Madness. My life is really difficult sometimes, but I don't mind sacrificing for my children.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
In which we do not discuss that thing that happened.
So, BYU didn't deliver today. And there was much sadness and cringing in the Warner household. But we're going to focus on the positive. So...not tonight's game. Yeah.
...
Okay. On the bright side, I went to the temple today for the first time in five months. Very refreshing. And it was also my first time ever going by myself. I am so awesome that way. Finally growing up and spreading my wings. The most awesome part of the whole night was the two old lady workers in the dressing room talking about the BYU/San Diego game. Except we're not talking about that. But seriously, it was funny, and I was grinning. But actually they were talking about rising taco prices. Because we can't talk about what they were really talking about.
...
Anyway, on the way there, I almost hit a teenager on a tricycle. No lie. At least it looked like a tricycle. Some kind of tricycle/scooter hybrid that looked entirely awkward with a teenager hunched over on it. Is this a new fad I am not aware of in my lame old person world? Probably. On the way home two hours later I almost hit two teenagers on tricycles. I think one of them was the one who almost died before. I think the universe is trying to tell these teenagers something. Probably that if Jimmer's almost buzzer beater doesn't count, they don't deserve to live. Except this happened before the game, back when we were allowed to talk about the game. Which we're now not talking about.
...
On one last sort of related note, while I was gone Madeline was watching some women's NCAA hoops and she said, "Look! Mommy is playing basketball! On TV!" And Jessie was all like, yes, that is most definitely your awesome MVP mother. She's the one making all the layups and rebounds and steals and stuff. And I felt validated that my two year old thinks I could play on a college level. (We can discuss this incident because although it is basketball related, it is not related to that other game we're not allowed to talk about. That one. You know. So don't mention it to me.)
...
Happy Daylight Savings!
...
Okay. On the bright side, I went to the temple today for the first time in five months. Very refreshing. And it was also my first time ever going by myself. I am so awesome that way. Finally growing up and spreading my wings. The most awesome part of the whole night was the two old lady workers in the dressing room talking about the BYU/San Diego game. Except we're not talking about that. But seriously, it was funny, and I was grinning. But actually they were talking about rising taco prices. Because we can't talk about what they were really talking about.
...
Anyway, on the way there, I almost hit a teenager on a tricycle. No lie. At least it looked like a tricycle. Some kind of tricycle/scooter hybrid that looked entirely awkward with a teenager hunched over on it. Is this a new fad I am not aware of in my lame old person world? Probably. On the way home two hours later I almost hit two teenagers on tricycles. I think one of them was the one who almost died before. I think the universe is trying to tell these teenagers something. Probably that if Jimmer's almost buzzer beater doesn't count, they don't deserve to live. Except this happened before the game, back when we were allowed to talk about the game. Which we're now not talking about.
...
On one last sort of related note, while I was gone Madeline was watching some women's NCAA hoops and she said, "Look! Mommy is playing basketball! On TV!" And Jessie was all like, yes, that is most definitely your awesome MVP mother. She's the one making all the layups and rebounds and steals and stuff. And I felt validated that my two year old thinks I could play on a college level. (We can discuss this incident because although it is basketball related, it is not related to that other game we're not allowed to talk about. That one. You know. So don't mention it to me.)
...
Happy Daylight Savings!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Keep them wagons rolling
Life rolls on here in Lehi, and we're doing crazy, awesome things. Being cool and incredible and all that. Speaking of rolling, guess who achieved that milestone today? That's right, we have a mobile baby. Sort of. Kimberly rolled over twice in quick succession and then refused to repeat the performance in front of her father, probably because she loves me more than Jessie. She was pretty pleased with herself. Madeline wasn't so pleased. Mostly because she enjoys being Kimberly's only means of movement and has been practicing rolling her over with efficiency and style. If Kimberly goes from rolling to crawling more quickly than her sister, it will be out of self preservation to escape Madeline's helpful overtures.
And speaking of Madeline, she continues to crack us up and provide most of the house's entertainment. We read scriptures in the morning before Jessie goes to work, which is a great idea, because I can pretend my closed eyes are a result of meditation. Madeline never really joins us, preferring to eat cereal or drive cars, and I was pretty sure she never heard a word. So you can imagine my surprise when she grabbed the scriptures after we were done yesterday and opened them up. This is how Madeline reads the scriptures: "And it came to pass that Daddy had Family Home Evening. In the name of Christ, Amen. And it came to pass." So I guess something is soaking in. Even if it's just a fancy phrase to begin stories for her friends.
And speaking of Madeline, she continues to crack us up and provide most of the house's entertainment. We read scriptures in the morning before Jessie goes to work, which is a great idea, because I can pretend my closed eyes are a result of meditation. Madeline never really joins us, preferring to eat cereal or drive cars, and I was pretty sure she never heard a word. So you can imagine my surprise when she grabbed the scriptures after we were done yesterday and opened them up. This is how Madeline reads the scriptures: "And it came to pass that Daddy had Family Home Evening. In the name of Christ, Amen. And it came to pass." So I guess something is soaking in. Even if it's just a fancy phrase to begin stories for her friends.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
How to be cranky. And how to get over it.
So I decided anew today that I am not a morning person. In fact, I'm downright cranky. I can tell you this because it's now afternoon and I'm a functioning, rational human being. Madeline is a morning person like her father. They both like to laugh at me at seven A.M. when I'm trying desperately not to spit in their cereal or call them bad names I'll regret later. In honor of my struggles to wake up on the right side of the bed (which I think Jessie is probably sleeping on), here are some things that make me cranky. But that I have come to grips with now that it is full daylight.
1. Discount Book Sale. This is a lovely little website where Jessie ordered some books for me for my birthday, because they were dirt cheap. Well, we thought. It turns out they're dirt cheap because they sign you up for a twenty dollar a month membership without really telling you. It's in the fine print of the terms and conditions. Their website is pretty much designed to trick you into buying things without realizing you're signing up, so they can charge your credit card for the rest of your life without selling you any more cheap books. Oh, and they have you take a survey in which there is somewhere hidden a little box where you sell your soul to them so they can take all your information and give it to Rebate Giant, who then signs you up for a ten dollar a month subscription to their service that you also won't know about. A legal scam that just leaves warm fuzzies in your heart. Luckily, Jessie watches our financials like a hawk and caught the charges and got everything cancelled before we lost any money. And then reported them to the Better Business Bureau. After we discovered that googling the company will bring up pages and pages of complaints. Moral of the story: always check the BBB to see who the heck you're buying from when you shop online. Thanks for listening. I feel better now that I've trumpeted their crimes to the world.
2. Charlie Sheen. Normally I don't get worked up about celebrities, but we sat down and watched one of his television interviews last night and Jessie had to tell me to chill or he'd give me a sedative. Because that man is crazy. (I can say that even though I've never personally met him because I'm not a full-fledged psychologist, so I don't risk breaking any ethical codes. Booyah.) Also I'm pretty sure he hangs out with Satan and memorizes all his propaganda. And I will probably use him as my "Don't let this happen to you" when we give the girls the talks on not doing drugs. Sleep helped cool my ire, though, and now I just mostly feel sorry for him.
3. BYU basketball. Normally this makes me a happy camper. But naturally, hearing that we lost one of our starters has put a damper on my happy place. Not because BYU lowered the boom on him. I'm glad they didn't give him any special privileges for being a star athlete. And I'm not even mad at him anymore, although I was at first, because why when you're having a season like this would you do anything to mess it up or lose your focus? Then, after about 10 am when I became rational, I realized he probably didn't plan to do it as a way to screw over Utah (the state, not the school). And that even if he's not sorry, you probably won't find anybody having a worse day today then him. So my crankiness was less directed at anyone in particular and more of a feeling of that's just great. Because now instead of talking about whether BYU is the best teams in the country, ESPN is now holding a memorial service for what could have been and writing us off. Wonderful. In my now less cranky state, I just have to hope we can prove our team is about more than just one person (and who knew we'd be saying that about someone who isn't Jimmer?). I'm proud of our team regardless. Go Cougars. (This post is really getting pretty cathartic. I don't know if we can handle it.)
4. Mornings. Mornings make me very cranky. Did I mention that?
Alright. I've subjected you to enough venting for one day. So I leave you with a list of things that alleviate crankiness. In case you've been brought down to my level. Try them out and maybe you'll be singing and drawing rainbows in no time: chocolate, smiley babies, naps, tylenol, chocolate, cathartic blogging, winning stuff, chocolate, fuzzy socks, blasting the radio, potty trained children, chocolate, warm weather, funny toddlers, walks, chocolate. (Warning: I reccommend only trying the chocolate once or twice, regardless of how you may be tempted, or you will get fat. And getting fat does not alleviate crankiness. Thank you.)
1. Discount Book Sale. This is a lovely little website where Jessie ordered some books for me for my birthday, because they were dirt cheap. Well, we thought. It turns out they're dirt cheap because they sign you up for a twenty dollar a month membership without really telling you. It's in the fine print of the terms and conditions. Their website is pretty much designed to trick you into buying things without realizing you're signing up, so they can charge your credit card for the rest of your life without selling you any more cheap books. Oh, and they have you take a survey in which there is somewhere hidden a little box where you sell your soul to them so they can take all your information and give it to Rebate Giant, who then signs you up for a ten dollar a month subscription to their service that you also won't know about. A legal scam that just leaves warm fuzzies in your heart. Luckily, Jessie watches our financials like a hawk and caught the charges and got everything cancelled before we lost any money. And then reported them to the Better Business Bureau. After we discovered that googling the company will bring up pages and pages of complaints. Moral of the story: always check the BBB to see who the heck you're buying from when you shop online. Thanks for listening. I feel better now that I've trumpeted their crimes to the world.
2. Charlie Sheen. Normally I don't get worked up about celebrities, but we sat down and watched one of his television interviews last night and Jessie had to tell me to chill or he'd give me a sedative. Because that man is crazy. (I can say that even though I've never personally met him because I'm not a full-fledged psychologist, so I don't risk breaking any ethical codes. Booyah.) Also I'm pretty sure he hangs out with Satan and memorizes all his propaganda. And I will probably use him as my "Don't let this happen to you" when we give the girls the talks on not doing drugs. Sleep helped cool my ire, though, and now I just mostly feel sorry for him.
3. BYU basketball. Normally this makes me a happy camper. But naturally, hearing that we lost one of our starters has put a damper on my happy place. Not because BYU lowered the boom on him. I'm glad they didn't give him any special privileges for being a star athlete. And I'm not even mad at him anymore, although I was at first, because why when you're having a season like this would you do anything to mess it up or lose your focus? Then, after about 10 am when I became rational, I realized he probably didn't plan to do it as a way to screw over Utah (the state, not the school). And that even if he's not sorry, you probably won't find anybody having a worse day today then him. So my crankiness was less directed at anyone in particular and more of a feeling of that's just great. Because now instead of talking about whether BYU is the best teams in the country, ESPN is now holding a memorial service for what could have been and writing us off. Wonderful. In my now less cranky state, I just have to hope we can prove our team is about more than just one person (and who knew we'd be saying that about someone who isn't Jimmer?). I'm proud of our team regardless. Go Cougars. (This post is really getting pretty cathartic. I don't know if we can handle it.)
4. Mornings. Mornings make me very cranky. Did I mention that?
Alright. I've subjected you to enough venting for one day. So I leave you with a list of things that alleviate crankiness. In case you've been brought down to my level. Try them out and maybe you'll be singing and drawing rainbows in no time: chocolate, smiley babies, naps, tylenol, chocolate, cathartic blogging, winning stuff, chocolate, fuzzy socks, blasting the radio, potty trained children, chocolate, warm weather, funny toddlers, walks, chocolate. (Warning: I reccommend only trying the chocolate once or twice, regardless of how you may be tempted, or you will get fat. And getting fat does not alleviate crankiness. Thank you.)
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