Introducing Ethan Jessie Warner. He was born September 16, 2013 at 7:39 pm, weighing in at 8 pounds 5 ounces, three weeks ahead of schedule. We think he's pretty cute.
So, how this all happened. Birth story! Except not too detailed so none of you get all traumatized. I was expecting to go to 40 weeks, because hey, I always do. But Ethan apparently wanted to be his own man, because starting Sunday morning, I started having fairly frequent contractions. This was either due to a yoga ball, really spicy sausage, a long walk, or just because he was big and he was ready. Or none of the above. Your guess is as good as mine. I seriously thought we would be at the hospital by Sunday night, but then the contractions just stopped. I figured he was just going to give me three weeks of false labor like Spencer did and went to bed. Then I woke up at 2 am with more contractions. They didn't stop when you do all the things you're supposed to do to try and stop contractions, so off to the hospital we merrily went. Where they told me I was dilated the exact same amount I had been at my last doctor's appointment, which is to say, not much. They speculated I just had an infection that was irritating and causing contractions. I was contracting enough, though, they decided to keep me for a while for observation. At this point the contractions were getting really painful and I was ready to cry thinking they might send me home to deal with them for three more weeks. So I was praying pretty hard that something would change. And lo and behold, in two more hours, I had dilated from a 1 to a 4, probably through sheer force of will. Or not. So they decided to admit me and get me some drugs, which was the best news of my life. When they gave me an epidural, I got a little loopy with happiness. It might have been the low blood pressure, but I felt super relaxed and awesome.
Well, it was pretty lucky I dilated enough to get admitted, because as soon as I got the epidural, I stopped progressing pretty much all day. After Spencer's quick labor, I felt pretty confident things would go fast, but it was so slow. Longer than Madeline's labor by quite a bit. The nurse was pretty funny, because she was bound and determined to be there for the birth. But slow and steady we went, and the epidural started to kind of selectively wear off, so I was starting to get pretty uncomfortable again. By about six thirty Jessie and I had despaired of having a baby before midnight. But then they decided to do this thing where they lay you in weird positions to try and speed things up, and that must have done the trick, because all of a sudden I was puking and ready to push. I knew this because unlike with the other children, the epidural was basically not working on half my body and I kind of wanted to die, and I was trying to tell Jessie I couldn't stop the baby from coming out but I was puking too hard to tell him. He knew the puking meant we were close though, so they were getting everything ready. The doctor arrived about thirty seconds before Ethan's head popped out, because let me tell you, when you're puking your guts out it's kind of impossible to stop having a baby. And thus Ethan entered the world with great to do while I was the most miserable I've ever been in my life. But once I got to hold Ethan, everything was good. And I was pretty surprised at how big he was.
So. Enough story. We all know you want pictures. Sorry, they are mostly off of my phone or stolen from my mother.
Here he is, like most Cougar fans, looking a little uncomfortable at our inability to convert.
Random picture of the other rugrats, who love Ethan so so much, and love throwing tantrums too. Reentry has been a bit rough for Kimberly especially. Spencer hated me at the hospital and has been blissfully happy since we came home. Madeline has been extra emotional.
Ethan in his monkey hat the kids picked out for him.
Happy to be a big sister again. Because now she can ride in the back of the van with Madeline. These are the important things in life.
All the kiddos together for the first time. Spencer would not relinquish my water cup, even for the paparazzi.
Well, there you go. Hope you enjoyed this update from the World of Warner.
