There is no good way to tell people you know everything about them.

I have a confession. I don't really feel too bad confessing this, though, because I have a sneaking suspicion I am one of many who do it and that it's actually pretty socially acceptable. I stalk people via the internet. People I don't know, and some I do, and sometimes fake people. Mostly I do this by reading their blogs, because hey, when Madeline lets me, it's my guilty pleasure. I like to find out that that girl I knew in high school got married to some guy I once was in the same ward as, and the dude from from my freshman ward now has twins, and my old bishop moved to Hawaii and got taped doing the hula wearing coconuts and a grass skirt and it's now all over facebook. (By the way. None of that is true. As far as I know. Except that everyone and their dog got married and had kids. But thus is life.) I know every little detail about people I have barely spoken to. That sounds creepy, but like I said, I think there are a lot of other people who are also this creepy. Maybe you are. Admit it. Or maybe you're somebody I'm stalking. Or both. Anyway, if you have a blog, there's a good chance I've visited it, because I read just about everyone's blog if I know them even remotely. And if they happen to have interesting lives and/or have witty writing skills, I probably read every little thing they've ever written. I am taking a great risk admitting this. Because now, if I run into you, you might start telling me about your life. But not all of it, because you'll say, "But of course you already know that from my blog." And I will get a guilty/confused look on my face, and start making up stuff about not knowing you had a blog (even though it's linked on mine), or that the baby keeps me so busy nowadays, I have no time to read blogs, or my computer crashed six months ago and isn't that sad, and it must have been someone else who updated my status on facebook yesterday. And you'll know that I'm lying and that I think you lead a dull life and have boring writing skills. That will be very awkward. Maybe, if we meet, we can just pretend we don't know about the internet. That would probably be better.