Jessie and I decided to vote early, because we're afraid of having an irritable baby disturbing your valuable voting experience by making a lot of noises whilst standing in a huge long line on election day. Also, Jessie and I don't like standing in huge long lines. So it works out for everybody. The problem with this great plan is that it means I have to decide who I'm voting for within the next few days. My preference tends to change every few days, so I'm afraid by election day I'll already be sorry for whoever I voted for. I have several criteria I'm debating on, some serious and some absolutely ridiculous (a.k.a., so ridiculous I ought to be shot for taking my civic duty so lightly). The serious ones, like moral issues and the economy and voting records and such, I will not be discussing here, since I hate political debate among friends, and unless I see one side as clearly more desirable (such as the debate on Proposition 8 in California), I don't think it's my place to try to tell you you're stupid if you don't agree with me. And I like blogs that make Jessie laugh, which such serious blogs do not do. I will, however, share with you some of the ridiculous criteria that help me sort out the candidates. Just be comforted and rest easy that I actually will be voting on the serious criteria. Mostly.
Okay, here goes. Reasons why I may be voting for McCain. He reminds me a lot of Bush, in that sometimes he's so ridiculous that it makes me chuckle. Laughing at Bush's grammatical mistakes and fun speeches the past four years have enriched my life. So that's something in McCain's favor. Also, he's an old guy. I like old people. After working in a nursing home for a while, I can testify that they make life interesting. So we know the president at least won't be dull. Another consideration: McCain is behind in the polls. I love the underdog. And I hate voting with the crowd. I haven't read Twlight precisely because everyone else has. On another positive note, I like Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impersonations. Also, I think the elephant is a cooler mascot than a donkey.
In Obama's favor, he's black. And before you start calling me racist, let me refer you to the whole underdog thing. Obama may be leading in the polls, but he would be the first black president, which would be cool. He's also way more suave than McCain, which makes me feel good, even if his policies or plans don't. He has little kids, which counts for the pro and con lists, because I like little kids, but I don't think it will be much fun for them having more security around and less time with dad. Ditto on this for Palin though, so on that point it's probably a wash. I like Biden because he rides the train, and ever since we rode the train cross country when I was a kid, I've thought trains were pretty cool. I like to ride Trax just because it's there. Also, (and I apologize that SNL on Thursday nights plays such a big role in my thought processes), the Obama impersonator who talked about being abducted by aliens was pretty funny. So I guess the political satire is a wash too. I'll probably be amused no matter who gets elected. And we all know that's the most important thing.
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