Thursday, August 7, 2008

Let them (aka me) eat cake.

Sometimes I randomly makes desserts for no good reason. Is that bad? I don't think it's so weird when I just randomly make brownies. They're pretty ordinary. Besides, sometimes they're the only way I can get my chocolate fix, since I've been doing so good about keeping sweets out of the house. Although Jessie doesn't help. He constantly picks up snacks and ice cream and candy when he's at the store. This is good for our relationship, but not so good for my diet. Anyway, back to the desserts. Right now I have a strange urge to make a cake. There is pretty much no good reason to do so. No birthdays, celebrations, company, etc. But I just really want cake. I bought some for my brother's birthday, just so I could tell him I ate it, but I was to lazy to actually bake it, so now I have a couple boxes of cake mix and some frosting just sitting around in my kitchen, taunting me when I get cravings for junk food. Maybe I'll make up an occasion. With a new car and Jessie's raise, I'm sure I could think of something. Or maybe I'll use Madeline's 4-month mark as an excuse.

Speaking of Madeline, I can't believe it's already been four months. It seems like I've been on full-time baby duty for my whole life. It's hard to imagine working a normal job now, or not having a baby to consider whenever I go anywhere or do anything. I wonder if all moms get this sort of tunnel vision after having kids. I mean, really, the next big event in my life is taking Madeline to her 4 month appointment so I can see how big she is now. And so she can get shots. I really, really, really hate watching her get shots. She was pretty brave last time, and only cried for about a minute- but she's older and more aware now, and I'm afraid she's going to realize that I'm letting the nurses treat her this way and hold it against me. We'll see how she fares. With any luck, she'll fall asleep right after and wake up with no recollection of the trauma. I, on the other hand, will probably not be so lucky.

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