Friday, October 9, 2009

I was a straight A student in high school. This is important to remember.

I had one of those days. Where I wonder if I still have a brain in there somewhere. I wasn't going to blog about it, but Jessie told me if I didn't, he was going to proclaim himself guest blogger of the day, and he knows all my passwords. Dratted marriage and the spilling of my secrets. Anyway, my day is best summarized by this little anecdote:

I went to Smith's Marketplace to pick up some odds and ends, including such interesting things as lightbulbs and fruit. Madeline was being awesome, and other people were enjoying watching me chase her through women's lingerie, yelling at her to put down the bras in her hands. She also dumped out her goldfish in the shoe section, the produce section, and at the checkout stand, respectively. My apologies, Smith's janitors. So I was a little flustered when I got up to the stand, and as soon as the girl had rung up my stuff, I put it all back into my cart before she could bag it. When I was almost done, I realized she was giving me a weird look, and she asked if I wanted her to bag my stuff. I said yes, thinking she was referring to my lightbulbs, and then realized she meant all the groceries I'd just put in my cart. I was too embarrassed to admit I was losing my mind, so I pretended I meant to do it all along and assured her I didn't want bags. To save the environment. Except my lightbulbs. Because they are more important than the environment. And then I loaded all my stuff into my trunk, sans bags, and when I got home, I brought out my own bags and loaded the stuff into them so I could take it into the house.

We won't talk about how I went to a baby shower and forgot to bring the present.

It's days like this that I just want to go stare at my college diploma on the wall so I can remember that I had rational thought, once.

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