Happy Thanksgiving and feasting and please, no one get concussions

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! I'm pretty excited about Thanksgiving. It's a great holiday. For one thing, everybody gets two days off instead of one, which makes it feel extra festive. For another, I never have to make anything more complicated than a relish tray, which is sweet. It's like a catered dinner. Also, there is always chocolate pie. I cannot dislike any day on which we celebrate by eating chocolate pie.

This is Madeline's first Thanksgiving, and I promised her a lot of mashed potatoes, to make up for the fact that I didn't let her snitch much from our breakfast. Because eggs are apparently bad for babies. Madeline disagreed, but being about eight times her weight and a lot smarter, I prevailed. Even when she tried begging from Dad. Jessie claims I'm a dictator, but I think that's not a bad thing when I'm right. Which is most of the time, right? So Madeline will have to wait until lunch for her feast like the rest of us. Maybe I'll be a nice mom and let her feed herself. And let Daddy clean up. Ha ha. (Just kidding Jessie. I'll clean it up. Because you were so nice and did the dishes this morning. That earned you a free pass all weekend. Unless you planned it that way, knowing it'd get you out of all other duties...hmmm...you might be smarter than I thought.)

Oh. I relented this morning and let Jessie go play football with the elder's quorum. But before you judge me as a controlling wife who only grudgingly lets her husband play once in a while, let me defend myself. The last time Jessie played football was on Thanksgiving about three years ago. He never made it to Thanksgiving dinner, because he got knocked out cold for four hours and woke up in the hospital with a concussion. So really, I'm just trying to protect him. But he claimed that the ground isn't frozen solid like last time, and so he'll be safe. I'm just hoping the elder's quorum will be nice to him since he's new. But if I miss my chocolate pie because someone's in the hospital, Jessie owes me big time.

I can walk a mile without ever leaving my front room.

About a month ago I bought myself an exercise video from Ross. Mostly because, surprise, after about three weeks, the jogging idea kind of died. And then it got colder, and then we moved and I lost my fun little jogging path. So anyway, I bought this video called "Walk away the pounds". Mostly because all the others sounded harder. Never name an exercise video "Sweat away the pounds" or "Feel your muscles burn". These are scary names. But I can walk. I walk all the time. So I figured this nice, non-scary video would magically help me lose all the baby weight. Then, right after I bought it, we all got sick. Like constantly nauseated, constant headaches, napping all day for a week kind of sick. So I said a big resounding NO to exercise that week. With only minimal guilt. Then, we were in the middle of moving and I figured all the packing and hauling boxes was good enough, and my DVD player got packed up, so I felt absolutely no guilt not even thinking about my new video for a week. But after all the unpacking was over, and the video was sitting front and center on my shelf, I decided it was about time to stop procrastinating. It's actually kind of fun. I've been walking every day for a week now, and despite the fact that the instructor is a little too peppy and complimentary (So smart of you to exercise today! You're doing so great! You're going to have an energizing day! So glad you decided to walk with me today!), I feel like I'm accomplishing something. I even made Jessie do it with me last Saturday. He'd been laughing at me all week for saying things about how "we" were doing kicks and sidesteps today, and teased me about my new exercise "group". But I got my revenge when he looked ridiculous doing all the moves and pooped out halfway through the bonus10 minute abs workout, while I powered through like a pro. ( My abs were dying for two days afterward, but don't tell Jessie. It's always worth it to outdo your manly husband, right?) The only complaint I have about the whole exercise thing is that the instructor clearly didn't factor in active babies to the workout. It adds a whole new dimension to the workout. The instructor is lifting two pound weights over her head while I'm lifting a sixteen pound baby. In between sidesteps and kickbacks, she's going back to walking while I run over and rescue an adventurous seven month old from the stairs. And have you ever tried to do trunk curls with a baby pushing down on your head? I'd like to see peppy fitness lady do THAT.

Ward-hopping is better if you bring an angry child

So we went looking for our new ward today. The internet told us it was at 9 am and that we were in the Graden 1st ward. I have great faith in lds.org, so I was pretty sure that was right. Okay, so it messed up the time when it told us our Lindon ward, but that's because they think they're still in college and switch times in the fall rather than at New Year's. At least they got the ward right. So we drove to church, and sat through sacrament meeting. Or at least Jessie did. Madeline decided to pitch a VERY loud fit. Like rock concert loud. So I ended up hiding in the nursery room on the opposite end of the church house to muffle the screams, and really didn't hear much of the talks. Of course, Madeline feel asleep right as the closing prayer, so Jessie and I went up to introduce ourselves to the Bishop. And found out we were in the wrong ward. The good news is, our new ward doesn't yet know how loud Madeline screams. The bad news is that our new ward was in a different building and started at 8:30. So we packed Madeline into the car, which of course woke her up, and headed to our new ward, just in time for relief society. On the bright side, our new ward didn't seem intimidated by the fact that we'd already been rejected by one bishopric, and decided to keep us. For now. Until they hear Madeline scream in sacrament meeting.

Also, for all you excited fans out there: Madeline sort of took a few steps unaided. I'm betting walking by Christmas. Which means she'll be able to get into even more trouble. I'm going to hobble my next child. (Okay, just kidding. I won't do that. That would be unethical. But let's not pretend I'm not tempted. Maybe I'll get one of those child leashes for Madeline. Is that wrong?)

Happy two years, friend

Welcome back to me. We're back online again, having just gotten internet at our new dwelling. I know you're all ecstatic. We're safely moved, and although I know you're all dying to hear every detail, it'll have to wait. Because...drumroll please...today is our two year anniversary! And we still like each other and stuff! So I thought it would be an appropriate topic for this post. I'm pretty excited, because my mother has Madeline for the evening. It'll be her first overnighter. When Jessie asked what I wanted to do for our anniversary, I told him I wanted to sleep. And the darling man wasn't too disheartened by the fact that I was almost more excited by the prospect of sleeping as long as I wanted than a Madeline-free date night. Some guys would get a little offended. Not my guy. That's why he's a keeper. It's been a marvelous afternoon, in which I got to shower when I felt like it, exercise without the weight of a seven month old around my ankle, and take a little nap. I contemplated taking a bubble bath, but it felt like too much work getting it ready. It's sad when you're too lazy for luxury.

However, I am looking forward to getting pampered tonight: aka, I'm not cooking. Some guy/girl at Applebee's will do it for me. After that, being the cool procrastinators we are, we're not exactly what we're doing other than contemplating the joys of being married two whole years. We made a deal that we're going to die when we're 120 (or rather, when I'm 120, since Jessie is an old geezer), in order to enjoy 100 years of wedded bliss. That means we're 2% of the way there. Plus that whole eternity thing, but we don't factor that into the math because I was playing tetris on my calculator when we covered infinity in math class. I guess we'll be able to handle marriage a while longer. Jessie's pretty cool about tolerating all of my weird quirks, and he even aids and abets me in my chocolate obsession. He read Harry Potter for me, and doesn't mock me when I want to be home for the Office or Heroes. He's not a bad cook, lugged all my shoes through two moves so far, and hasn't yet made me dispose of my giant hippo collection. So here's to you, my patient spouse. I promise to always be interested in your spreadsheets, keep your love of chick flicks a secret, and let you beat me at bowling, all while being really impressed at your handyman skills and ability to make up songs with no real melody or rhyme scheme. Te amo!

The fateful day is here.

So, we're moving. And we're dismantling our faithful computer. So there will be a slight hiatus in blogging until we get internet worked out at our new place. Off we go! Wish us luck!

The many woes of Madeline Warner

Madeline doesn't like packing. We had a glimpse of this a few weeks ago, when we picked up her new high chair from WalMart. All the packing paper terrified her. Turns out she's not so fond of boxes either. (We're just hoping this doesn't extend to wrapping paper and Christmas boxes, or the holidays are going to be pretty traumatic.) Poor girl. Plus, she got really mad at me when she discovered I had packed up all the DVDs off the entertainment center, because it meant she couldn't play with them and throw them all on the floor. She leads a hard life. Oh, and she's finally getting some teeth, which means she can now bite me when she's unhappy. Fortunately, she hasn't really figured this out yet, so we're okay for now. But heaven help us if she ever links biting to her temper tantrums. If they weren't so frequent and depressing, I would love her temper tantrums. They're pretty funny. She climbs up next to you and bounces up and down and cries in short little grunts, and you're almost convinced that life on planet earth will cease to exist as we know it if Madeline isn't pacified RIGHT NOW. It's actually impressive. It's a good thing she's the most adorable little person you'll ever meet 90% of the time.

Taking this show on the road. To Pleasant Grove.

Good news to report on the moving front. We found an apartment! That Jessie likes! (Just kidding love.) Okay, so Jessie is a little more discriminating than I in both his taste in food and apartments. Which is good, because than we eat good and don't live in dumps. We've tentatively got an apartment in Pleasant Grove, a couple minutes from Jessie's work, which is handy. After we put down a deposit tomorrow it'll be official. It's got 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms, and a little square of dirt for my new garden. Because I am great at growing things. (Not really.) So Jessie can have his little office, Madeline can have her own room, and I can have my own little pantry. Everyone wins. Pictures may be forthcoming on facebook, so stay tuned. We're pretty excited, except for the whole moving part. Because now that we have somewhere to go, I have no excuse not to pack all my stuff. Except the whole being sick thing. I might roll with that for a few more days.

Oh. We got a new president. Can he get rid of my cold, please?

Well, we have a new president all picked out. Congratulations to Obama. Frankly, I'm just glad it's all over. I found it hard to be excited about election returns last night. I watched everyone on television crying and screaming and acting like the world had just been declared a war-free zone, and I was unmoved. Don't get me wrong. I don't necessarily dislike Obama. It was a tough choice for me on who to vote for, and I wavered back and forth many times before settling. On who, I won't tell you, because it's more fun that way. And I do think it's really cool that an African American is going to be our next president. But call me racist, I hope people voted for Obama because he's qualified for the job, not just because he's black. Because I think he has plenty of other great qualifications and that voting someone in just because it's historic, be it an African American or a woman or a disabled person or a Hispanic, is a pretty lousy reason. But anyway, back to last night. I'm sitting there listening to the news guy talk about how this is an extremely emotional moment for everyone in the nation, and perhaps the world, and I'm thinking to myself: I felt more emotional when I cried at Dr. Phil today than upon hearing we have a new president. (It's true. Blame it on PMS, but it's true.) So now, while everyone else is celebrating, I'm waiting for this guy to prove himself. I would have felt the same way with McCain. You talk big, Mr. President Elect, but now prove to me that you're better than George W. Bush, and that you know what's best for the country, and that you can fix things with your tax cuts and troop removal plans and change. And in four years, if you put your money where your mouth is, I'll be first to sing your praises and vote you in again. But for now, I'll just be glad I don't have to watch any more campaign ads. And sad that I won't get to see Tina Fay doing Palin impersonations on a regular basis.

Daylight Savings is not natural. Vote no to Daylight Savings.

I felt really smart this weekend when I managed to change all the clocks in our house the night before, correctly guessing which ones would change themselves. I was all on top of everything. Until I realized there was no good way to change Madeline's internal clock. So after many well fought battles to get her on a sleeping schedule we were both comfortable with, she's now waking up every morning at least an hour before I want her to. I try to keep her up later at night, but she doesn't see the logic in it, so we're only making a little headway. I suppose I could just follow her sleeping schedule instead of the clock, but my body is easily fooled. When the clock says 5 am, I think it's 5 am. And when Jessie wants to stay up an hour later because the clock says it's okay, it's hard to feel the urgency to get to bed. So I guess we'll just deal with a week or two of early mornings until we get the baby re-calibrated. Fun times.

Other than that hiccup, and rampant sickness in the Warner household, we had a great weekend of Halloween and too much candy and such. Madeline enjoyed Uncle Bryce's baptism; Aunt Holly said she had to hold her back from jumping into the font, because she thought it was one big bath time for everybody. Our costumes are lots of fun, but alas, I have no pictures, due to the dead battery phenomenon that seems to happen every time I want it. Grandma has a lot of pictures though, so I'll have to steal some. She also knows of my inability to keep my camera functioning, and found me some more rechargeable batteries to kill. So maybe I'll go on another binge and take hundreds of pictures of my kid and post them all on facebook with witty captions and another apology that I have nothing else to take pictures of.