So I took Madeline to the park this afternoon. Because I am an awesomely cool mom like that. She was enjoying sliding and swinging and trying to fall off things. Then she found a little step to sit down and rest. And along comes a boy. A little bit older than Madeline. And of course Madeline started smiling and tossing her head and the boy had no choice but to sit down next to her and chat. I was a little nervous, because you could tell he had that bad boy look, but at some point you've got to let her make her own bad choices, right? So they flirted a while and talked and chased each other around the playground.
About ten minutes later, Madeline returned to the step and sat down. And started smiling and looking around and patting the seat next to her. After a very long time (about 45 seconds) she decided her boyfriend wasn't coming back, so she stood up to run off- and lo and behold, there came the boy around the corner. So she sat back down and batted her eyes and patted the seat next to her again. And the boy was putty in her hands.
Unfortunately, Madeline hasn't had enough world experience to know that boys like that will totally burn you. Their puppy dog love lasted about ten minutes before the boy started getting abusive. He'd follow Madeline around, cutting her off when she went to climb on things, and pushing her away from the places she wanted to go. When he made my little girl cry, I gave that boy a talking to and sent him packing. Poor Madeline.
But, there is a happy ending to this story. A little sadder and a little wiser, Madeline returned to her step to contemplate life. And after a few minutes, she was joined by a new boy. A nice, clean cut, mature fellow this time. He sat down and started talking to her. She was a little bit wary, as might be expected considering her recent breakup. But she quickly warmed up, and they had quite the time chatting. While bad boy #1 sulked a few feet away by the slide because he wasn't the one admiring Madeline's princess shirt and holding her hand. He contemplated throwing some wood chips at the happy couple, but I was keeping an eye on the little punk and gave him a death glare until he dropped them and ran away. And Madeline was blissfully happy with her new boyfriend. (Until they had to sorrowfully part so that Madeline could go take care of her doll. Single motherhood can be so rough on your love life.)
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Warners are super duper exciting.
Yesterday was exciting. Let me list for the exciting things we did:
1. Maternity clothes shopping. Jessie did not find this as exciting as I did. But this is my blog. SO I say it was exciting.
2. We planted pansies. This is a big deal for us. Considering we kill plants and can't tell a marigold from a daisy. But we planted them. And now we will try to keep them alive.
3. We filled Madeline's sand box. And then tried to convince her to keep the sand inside the box. So that we don't have to fill it again tomorrow.
4. Jessie walked into a door. If you're debating whether to express concern or mock him, you should definitely mock. He's fine. He just walked right through our screen door and ripped it off its track. Because he didn't realize it was there. Now, whenever we are arguing about who has done more stupid things, I say: "You walked into a door. I win." Works like a charm.
5. Jessie played basketball while Madeline and I played at the park with neighbors. Proof that we are awesomely social people.
6. I left the park early because I got food poisoning or something and spent the rest of night vomiting and having violent stomach pain and wanting to die. I didn't say all the exciting things were good things. Don't worry, I'm better now. And a whole lot less inclined to complain about morning sickness. Good lesson learned.
This concludes the list of exciting things we did. I just had to let you know we do have exciting days once in a while. The end.
1. Maternity clothes shopping. Jessie did not find this as exciting as I did. But this is my blog. SO I say it was exciting.
2. We planted pansies. This is a big deal for us. Considering we kill plants and can't tell a marigold from a daisy. But we planted them. And now we will try to keep them alive.
3. We filled Madeline's sand box. And then tried to convince her to keep the sand inside the box. So that we don't have to fill it again tomorrow.
4. Jessie walked into a door. If you're debating whether to express concern or mock him, you should definitely mock. He's fine. He just walked right through our screen door and ripped it off its track. Because he didn't realize it was there. Now, whenever we are arguing about who has done more stupid things, I say: "You walked into a door. I win." Works like a charm.
5. Jessie played basketball while Madeline and I played at the park with neighbors. Proof that we are awesomely social people.
6. I left the park early because I got food poisoning or something and spent the rest of night vomiting and having violent stomach pain and wanting to die. I didn't say all the exciting things were good things. Don't worry, I'm better now. And a whole lot less inclined to complain about morning sickness. Good lesson learned.
This concludes the list of exciting things we did. I just had to let you know we do have exciting days once in a while. The end.
Friday, April 23, 2010
In which I cannot bring myself to make my blog cute.
This morning I realized why Jessie's alarm clock is cooler than mine. It doesn't beep randomly in the night. It doesn't push you off the bed in the morning. And it has a snooze button. If anyone knows of a place you can buy these upgrades for a toddler, let me know. Price is no object.
So I have this conundrum. I decided I need a pregnancy ticker. Because I need affirmation that we're getting somewhere. And apparently it's the cool thing to do. I've been looking around the internet for something suitable. And the problem is this: they are all too cute. Go ahead, laugh at me. But I just can't bring myself to stick an adorable ticker with flowers and happy hearts and stuff on the corner of my blog. I'm just not that kind of a person. Even in anticipation of a cute little ball of adorableness. And all of the tickers I've found that aren't excessively cute are either excessively boring, or gender specific. I know, there's just no pleasing me. Aren't you glad these are the problems that keep me awake at night? My life is difficult. (Actually, this doesn't keep me up at night. There are plenty of other reasons to be up all night, and this doesn't crack the top one hundred. Just to clarify. Lest you think I actually obsess about pregnancy tickers that much.)
So there's my latest insignificant internet dilemma. Until I finally just crack and find a sickeningly sweet ticker and stick it on here. Under duress and with much protest, of course. Until then I'll just have to make Jessie do a countdown dance for me every night to keep track. He'll love that. Too bad there's no way to stick that on a blog.
So I have this conundrum. I decided I need a pregnancy ticker. Because I need affirmation that we're getting somewhere. And apparently it's the cool thing to do. I've been looking around the internet for something suitable. And the problem is this: they are all too cute. Go ahead, laugh at me. But I just can't bring myself to stick an adorable ticker with flowers and happy hearts and stuff on the corner of my blog. I'm just not that kind of a person. Even in anticipation of a cute little ball of adorableness. And all of the tickers I've found that aren't excessively cute are either excessively boring, or gender specific. I know, there's just no pleasing me. Aren't you glad these are the problems that keep me awake at night? My life is difficult. (Actually, this doesn't keep me up at night. There are plenty of other reasons to be up all night, and this doesn't crack the top one hundred. Just to clarify. Lest you think I actually obsess about pregnancy tickers that much.)
So there's my latest insignificant internet dilemma. Until I finally just crack and find a sickeningly sweet ticker and stick it on here. Under duress and with much protest, of course. Until then I'll just have to make Jessie do a countdown dance for me every night to keep track. He'll love that. Too bad there's no way to stick that on a blog.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Another birthday. So many people were born and stuff.
Yesterday, Jessie got really old. Should I tell you how old? He is now in his LATE twenties. Practically dead. But I love old geezers, even though I'm still young and vivacious myself, so I'll keep him. We went out to dinner and bowling to celebrate, because we are awesomely creative and original people. Jessie beat me. Or maybe I let him beat me because it was his birthday. Or maybe my center of gravity was off because I'm pregnant. (I told you it's an excuse for everything.) Anyway, since I listed the reasons we love Madeline, I guess I'll tell you why we appreciate Jessie.
1. Jessie likes to clean. It relaxes him. So while I sit on my couch and try not puke, he organizes all the stuff I'm supposed to have done for the last week. For fun. or to procrastinate homework. I don't really care the reason. Don't probe too much into a good thing.
2. He makes an excellent horse. If you're two. He tends to complain if he has to give me rides around the living room. But Madeline loves it.
3. He lets me play with his new iphone. He even let me read a whole Jane Austen novel on it. Which means it was out of his control for hours on end. That means he loves me.
4. He kills bugs. I hate bug guts, and bug sounds, and basically any spider or bee that looks like they have it in for me. Once upon a time, a giant bumble bee was stalking me. I got a cup over it but was afraid to touch it because the bee got very angry and I feared for my life. Jessie didn't laugh at me when he came home eight hours later and there was a dead bee in a cup, weighted down with books, in the middle of our living room. He just disposed of it. Good husband material right there.
5. He makes good French toast. But he won't tell me his secret. So maybe he only gets a half point for that.
6. He only gets mad once in a while when I steal all of the blankets. And he listens to all my crazy dreams. (I had a good one the other night where I had a long conversation with Dwight Shrute trying to prove I was an alien. But that's a different story.)
7. He is tall. And dark. And handsome.
Yes, we like Jessie a lot around here. He's pretty useful and entertaining and stuff. Happy birthday Jessie, and don't worry. We'll take good care of you in your old age.
1. Jessie likes to clean. It relaxes him. So while I sit on my couch and try not puke, he organizes all the stuff I'm supposed to have done for the last week. For fun. or to procrastinate homework. I don't really care the reason. Don't probe too much into a good thing.
2. He makes an excellent horse. If you're two. He tends to complain if he has to give me rides around the living room. But Madeline loves it.
3. He lets me play with his new iphone. He even let me read a whole Jane Austen novel on it. Which means it was out of his control for hours on end. That means he loves me.
4. He kills bugs. I hate bug guts, and bug sounds, and basically any spider or bee that looks like they have it in for me. Once upon a time, a giant bumble bee was stalking me. I got a cup over it but was afraid to touch it because the bee got very angry and I feared for my life. Jessie didn't laugh at me when he came home eight hours later and there was a dead bee in a cup, weighted down with books, in the middle of our living room. He just disposed of it. Good husband material right there.
5. He makes good French toast. But he won't tell me his secret. So maybe he only gets a half point for that.
6. He only gets mad once in a while when I steal all of the blankets. And he listens to all my crazy dreams. (I had a good one the other night where I had a long conversation with Dwight Shrute trying to prove I was an alien. But that's a different story.)
7. He is tall. And dark. And handsome.
Yes, we like Jessie a lot around here. He's pretty useful and entertaining and stuff. Happy birthday Jessie, and don't worry. We'll take good care of you in your old age.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Cami explains the mysteries of the universe. Or just babbles and maybe there's something worth reading in here.
I have been an extremely bad blogger lately. But this time I have a really good excuse. The mother of all excuses. The get out of jail free card. Are you ready for this great excuse? Okay. Let's play multiple guess. Cami has been a slacker because
a) We've been on a month long trip to Guatemala building pay phones and the internet service was spotty.
b) I was pushed into a tree by a malevolent smoke monster, suffered a concussion, and awoke able to blog only in Korean.
c) Jessie recently developed an obsessive interest in censorship, and any post which does not refer to him as the Almighty Coolest Husband Ever is not allowed to publish.
d) All of the above. And we're pregnant.
Okay, that was sort of a trick question. To which the correct answer is just, we're pregnant! Well, I am anyway, and Jessie is pretty sure babies need fathers, so he's filling the position. I know you have many pressing questions, so allow me to elaborate. The due date is November 7th, or any time before then. Later than November 7th will be considered a breach of contract and said baby will be grounded. This makes me about 10 1/2 weeks. I have been sick, but not as sick as with Madeline, so pity me not. (Okay. Pity me. I like pity parties. Also cookies. But if you go with the cookies, hold off until I am on speaking terms with food again.) We are very excited, and reasonably sure that the baby is not an alien. My house is a disaster. No judging allowed. Um, I think that may be all you would want to know. Because really, there's not much more to announcing you're having a baby than saying, "Hey world, I'm having a baby!" So. Anyway. Now you know. Run wild with celebration and dance in the streets.
a) We've been on a month long trip to Guatemala building pay phones and the internet service was spotty.
b) I was pushed into a tree by a malevolent smoke monster, suffered a concussion, and awoke able to blog only in Korean.
c) Jessie recently developed an obsessive interest in censorship, and any post which does not refer to him as the Almighty Coolest Husband Ever is not allowed to publish.
d) All of the above. And we're pregnant.
Okay, that was sort of a trick question. To which the correct answer is just, we're pregnant! Well, I am anyway, and Jessie is pretty sure babies need fathers, so he's filling the position. I know you have many pressing questions, so allow me to elaborate. The due date is November 7th, or any time before then. Later than November 7th will be considered a breach of contract and said baby will be grounded. This makes me about 10 1/2 weeks. I have been sick, but not as sick as with Madeline, so pity me not. (Okay. Pity me. I like pity parties. Also cookies. But if you go with the cookies, hold off until I am on speaking terms with food again.) We are very excited, and reasonably sure that the baby is not an alien. My house is a disaster. No judging allowed. Um, I think that may be all you would want to know. Because really, there's not much more to announcing you're having a baby than saying, "Hey world, I'm having a baby!" So. Anyway. Now you know. Run wild with celebration and dance in the streets.
Monday, April 12, 2010
She had a birthday, shout hooray.
Will it surprise anyone that this post is late? Yeah, I didn't think so. On to the main event.
Yesterday, our wacky and wonderful toddler hit the big 2-0. Well, 2-point-0. Anyway, it was a big birthday milestone. Exceedingly exciting frivolity and mirth abounded. Since you never, ever, ever get to hear about Madeline on this blog, allow me to wax eloquent about why we love the little mischief maker.
1. We are so much more cultured since she has come into our lives. We know all the songs to Mary Poppins by heart. Jessie doubled his knowledge of primary songs. I have seen more episodes of Curious George than I ever did in college. Yes, I know my education was lacking.
2. We like being on a strict sleeping schedule. Madeline sure helps with the whole early to bed early to rise thing. And she keeps me alert by randomly screaming at various times throughout the night. If we ever have to sleep in a war zone, with our lives depending upon our keen senses, I will live and Jessie will die. This is comforting to know.
3. Madeline makes us appreciate gospel principles. Like temples. And prophets. We get to spend more time on lds.org looking at uplifting photos than ever before. And we get to appreciate the knowledge that there is a pseudo temple in our backyard everytime I open the back drapes. If you lived in front of a temple too, you would feel the joy.
4. We've doubled the number of shoes in our house. This has to be a good thing. And Jessie's share of the shoes went from about 5% TO 2.5%. Plus his aren't nearly as cute. Poor Jessie.
5. Madeline helps me make friends. I try to emulate her tactics to get to know people, but mostly they look at me funny if I admire their boots loudly in the grocery store.
6. We go to the park more often now. And trust me, I need it, as my ability on the monkey bars has sadly plummeted since second grade.
7. Madeline puts on shows for us. Always original and entertaining, and very much free. You have to bring your own popcorn, but it's not so bad once you get used to it.
8. She's just cute. I would upload proof, but blogspot hates me. Also I need to download pictures and I can't find my cord. Shocking, I know.
Anyway, we're just pleased as punch that she made it to her second birthday alive and happy and relatively well-adjusted. I think. Celebrations included kite-flying, McDonald's, cake, and a new high chair and pack and play for her baby doll that sent her into throes of ecstasy. (McDonald's and kite-flying were on Saturday. I know you thought we high-tailed it over there after church. Don't worry, we were too busy sitting around in our perfectly tailored Sunday clothes reading from the bible and listening to EFY music, like we do all day every Sunday.) Anyway. We do really love her and can't imagine what the heck we did before she came along. Happy birthday, Madeline, and may you stay two forever so that I don't have an emotional breakdown. Thank you.
Yesterday, our wacky and wonderful toddler hit the big 2-0. Well, 2-point-0. Anyway, it was a big birthday milestone. Exceedingly exciting frivolity and mirth abounded. Since you never, ever, ever get to hear about Madeline on this blog, allow me to wax eloquent about why we love the little mischief maker.
1. We are so much more cultured since she has come into our lives. We know all the songs to Mary Poppins by heart. Jessie doubled his knowledge of primary songs. I have seen more episodes of Curious George than I ever did in college. Yes, I know my education was lacking.
2. We like being on a strict sleeping schedule. Madeline sure helps with the whole early to bed early to rise thing. And she keeps me alert by randomly screaming at various times throughout the night. If we ever have to sleep in a war zone, with our lives depending upon our keen senses, I will live and Jessie will die. This is comforting to know.
3. Madeline makes us appreciate gospel principles. Like temples. And prophets. We get to spend more time on lds.org looking at uplifting photos than ever before. And we get to appreciate the knowledge that there is a pseudo temple in our backyard everytime I open the back drapes. If you lived in front of a temple too, you would feel the joy.
4. We've doubled the number of shoes in our house. This has to be a good thing. And Jessie's share of the shoes went from about 5% TO 2.5%. Plus his aren't nearly as cute. Poor Jessie.
5. Madeline helps me make friends. I try to emulate her tactics to get to know people, but mostly they look at me funny if I admire their boots loudly in the grocery store.
6. We go to the park more often now. And trust me, I need it, as my ability on the monkey bars has sadly plummeted since second grade.
7. Madeline puts on shows for us. Always original and entertaining, and very much free. You have to bring your own popcorn, but it's not so bad once you get used to it.
8. She's just cute. I would upload proof, but blogspot hates me. Also I need to download pictures and I can't find my cord. Shocking, I know.
Anyway, we're just pleased as punch that she made it to her second birthday alive and happy and relatively well-adjusted. I think. Celebrations included kite-flying, McDonald's, cake, and a new high chair and pack and play for her baby doll that sent her into throes of ecstasy. (McDonald's and kite-flying were on Saturday. I know you thought we high-tailed it over there after church. Don't worry, we were too busy sitting around in our perfectly tailored Sunday clothes reading from the bible and listening to EFY music, like we do all day every Sunday.) Anyway. We do really love her and can't imagine what the heck we did before she came along. Happy birthday, Madeline, and may you stay two forever so that I don't have an emotional breakdown. Thank you.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Madeline is sleeping, so allow me to do Jessie's bragging for him.
Madeline is weird. For a many, many reasons. But sometimes she forgets it is day time and takes gigantic marathon naps. And then is really cranky when I wake her up. I almost never wake her up, but if I am afraid her nap is going to last six hours and I am going to be up all night with her, I will wake her up. Right now she has been asleep for three hours. I went in to see if she was stirring. I made some noises, snapped my fingers, and stared at her for a while. She just looked cute and slept. And I didn't have the heart to wake her up. I am actually a little afraid to. Because she will probably yell at me. Have you ever had that cranky, groggy, yucky feeling when you sleep too long? I'm pretty sure Madeline feels that way. So I am chicken. And instead of waking up my daughter, I am going to blog about Jessie.
The other day, I wrote a blog. I told Jessie about it. He said, "Did you blog about my iphone?". I told him I blogged about Madeline dying. He was kind of disappointed. "I think you should blog about my iphone." He's just a little excited. Or maybe a lot. His work bought him an iphone. Because they bought it and are paying for the ultra expensive plan, I let him keep it. Because I am nice like that. He brought it home two days ago. Now his favorite nighttime activity is playing Youtube videos on it for Madeline. (She thinks iphone is synonymous with Poppins.) He does this even if the laptop or television are bigger and closer. Yesterday we went to a wedding reception for my cousin. It was ridiculously easy to find the church. He had me look up directions on his iphone and we tracked ourselves with GPS the entire way. He now likes to spend his free time pretending to throw wads of paper into garbage cans at various locations. Fake locations. So that is Jessie's iphone. And Jessie. And the great thing is I never have to plan a date night again, because we'll just be bowling together on his iphone. And eating at virtual restaurants. And we won't even need a babysitter.
The other day, I wrote a blog. I told Jessie about it. He said, "Did you blog about my iphone?". I told him I blogged about Madeline dying. He was kind of disappointed. "I think you should blog about my iphone." He's just a little excited. Or maybe a lot. His work bought him an iphone. Because they bought it and are paying for the ultra expensive plan, I let him keep it. Because I am nice like that. He brought it home two days ago. Now his favorite nighttime activity is playing Youtube videos on it for Madeline. (She thinks iphone is synonymous with Poppins.) He does this even if the laptop or television are bigger and closer. Yesterday we went to a wedding reception for my cousin. It was ridiculously easy to find the church. He had me look up directions on his iphone and we tracked ourselves with GPS the entire way. He now likes to spend his free time pretending to throw wads of paper into garbage cans at various locations. Fake locations. So that is Jessie's iphone. And Jessie. And the great thing is I never have to plan a date night again, because we'll just be bowling together on his iphone. And eating at virtual restaurants. And we won't even need a babysitter.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I think she has a death wish.
Madeline is kind of determined not to make it to her second birthday. She's had more near death experiences and trauma the past week than the past six months combined. It started when we went to Jessie's mission reunion. She was having a blast running around on the stage with all the other kids, and my biggest worry was that she would go exploring the church and find a hidden tunnel to the parking lot. Turns out I should have been more worried about her hidden aspirations to fly. She suddenly jumped off the stage and face planted onto the wooden floor. Jessie had seen the mischief in her eyes and ran to catch her, but arrived three seconds too late. But just in time, it turns out, to donate his best dress shirt as a rag for the torrent of blood gushing out her mouth. Now isn't that love? Anyway, after mopping up some of the carnage, we decided there was no chipped teeth, but she definitely bit her lip open in at least four places and bruised her upper gum quite badly. She was thoroughly traumatized, we all caused quite the scene, and it was a great night.
Madeline's lip is starting to not look like a scene from a horror film, but she has continued to be inexplicably clumsy. She randomly slid out of her booster seat at dinner, banged her head on the table, and sprawled onto the floor. She keeps running into tables, doors, and other hard objects. She banged her head on her crib while napping today, which she has never done before. She's reached new highs in tripping and falling. And I keep banging her with my elbow whenever I turn around suddenly. She jumps suddenly from stairs instead of walking down them normally. Did I mention she's also had a snot-nosed-hacking-cough-cold again through all this madness? Basically, I'm just counting our blessings that we haven't been to the ER yet, and counting the days until her birthday. At which point we'll hope the older and wiser thing kicks in pretty quickly. Heaven help us until then.
Madeline's lip is starting to not look like a scene from a horror film, but she has continued to be inexplicably clumsy. She randomly slid out of her booster seat at dinner, banged her head on the table, and sprawled onto the floor. She keeps running into tables, doors, and other hard objects. She banged her head on her crib while napping today, which she has never done before. She's reached new highs in tripping and falling. And I keep banging her with my elbow whenever I turn around suddenly. She jumps suddenly from stairs instead of walking down them normally. Did I mention she's also had a snot-nosed-hacking-cough-cold again through all this madness? Basically, I'm just counting our blessings that we haven't been to the ER yet, and counting the days until her birthday. At which point we'll hope the older and wiser thing kicks in pretty quickly. Heaven help us until then.
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