I went to a Relief Society activity. No one died.

Breaking news: I went to relief society enrichment last night. Please hold in your astonishment. I've never been a huge fan of enrichment. In fact, I think the only time I'd ever gone before was when my mom needed help with crafts back when I was in Young Women's. I made a couple of "Be" boards and never went back. The only other enrichment I ever went to was in college, right before I got engaged. And it wasn't even my ward. So showing up last night was a big step for me. Jessie claims I only went because they were serving food. He may have been right. Turns out it's not so bad hanging out with a bunch of women. I survived, and may even go again next month. But maybe I'll check and see if there are refreshments first.

Speaking of food, pretty much the most exciting thing in my life this week is that I reorganized my pantry. Only because I went grocery shopping and had nowhere to put the food, since half my closet was full of empty cereal bags and the like. Now, my pantry looks beautiful. And if I never cook again, it will continue to look beautiful indefinitely. It's a tempting game plan. But Jessie and Madeline like to eat food, so it probably won't happen. My family can be so demanding that way.

My kid is the one in sacrament making you feel good about your kid's behavior.

Madeline has a problem sitting through church. Even for an eleven month old. Today made me want to hide under a rock. Mostly because if Madeline isn't allowed to do what she wants to do, a tantrum ensues, at full Madeline lung capacity. Which is enough to ensure everyone in the county is looking at us. We went in and out of sacrament about five times, because when Madeline was in the hallway running around, she was happy and quiet. So after about ten minutes, you start to make yourself believe she'd behave inside the chapel. And then discover, anywhere from 30 seconds to three minutes later, that you were sadly mistaken. She behaved herself in Sunday school because she was sleeping. Anyone who invents a three hour sleeping pill for children would be my undying hero. Relief Society meant more fun running around the room, stealing other people's toys and crackers, or scriptures and pens if she could get them. I think I sat in five different seats as I followed her around trying to keep her out of trouble. All the while, of course, noticing the five other kids between 6-18 months who were playing quietly in a two foot radius around their mothers. With their own toys.

Maybe if everyone else was getting after Madeline, she'd behave better. But everyone else is bewitched by her cuteness, and she charms her way through the women of the ward, taking whatever she wants from them. They'd whisper to me, "she is so cute!!!!" as I crept past, frazzled, to keep her from poking out another baby's eyes or stealing the centerpiece. The woman sitting next to me (at the start of the meeting) told me she was "just a miracle" who "broke all the rules". You said it, sister.

It's too bad no one ever sleeps in this house.

I'm pretty excited for Monday. That's the day our new mattress is coming. After two years of using the mattress my parents donated to us at our wedding, we decided to spoil ourselves in the interest of making whatever sleep Madeline allows us to get to be quality. It's amazing how uncomfortable your old mattress gets in between buying a new mattress and getting it delivered. So Jessie and I are both ready for the fluffy luxury we'll be dozing on next week. To make it even sweeter, we decided to treat ourselves to new sheets and pillows. If you're going to be comfortable, get comfortable, right? And we found an amazing deal on a complete queen set at Walmart, so we went the whole hog and now have matching sheets, bed skirt, comforter, pillowcases, sham covers, decorative pillows, morning chocolates on the pillow, etc. So we're going to be sleeping in style, and our room will look something like this:


Well, not exactly like that. Obviously there will be a chandelier and fresh flowers, but our room will be pink and yellow and feminine. Jessie will tell you it's because that was the only pattern that was on the amazing deal. I'd tell you Jessie picked it out specially because he loves flowery pink and yellow decor. You can choose who to believe. Meanwhile, we'll be trying to figure out how you fit two people in a bed with that many pillows.

My thoughts for the day. Enjoy.

I love to watch the news and look for stories about people being stupid. One of my favorites recently was the woman who called 911 when McDonalds ran out of chicken nuggets. Come on, that's got to make you a little nervous about the average IQ in this country, because she's dragging it down. Even more reassuring is a poll I saw on the news this morning that found a quarter of Americans asked about the bailout don't realized it's funded by the taxpayers. They seem to think that the federal government just has a bunch of money laying around somewhere that they get from Santa Claus. Now whether you're for or against the bailout, please tell me you know that the federal government runs off of taxes. It'll make me feel better.

Speaking of stupid, it turns out Jessie and I can't follow directions properly. We went to our monthly dinner with his side of the family last night at a steakhouse in Murray. Instead of following the google directions, which were very simple and would have taken us straight there, we drove around in circles through a bunch of parking lots for fifteen minutes before realizing our primary mistake was not knowing the difference between north and south. Whoops. Good thing one of us in school. I blame him for not sharing his knowledge with his poor sad wife, who used to be a genius but lost all sense of logic and brainpower when her bain cells were fried giving brith to his child.

Speaking of the child, I think her crankiness was indeed due to some bug or teething issue, and not a permanent personality defect, because she's much more cheerful now. Hallelujah. Now instead of yelling at me randomly, she's busy walking around carrying socks, wet wipes, rags, shoes, slinkies, croquet mallets, and anything else she can get her hands on. Perferably in her mouth if she can handle it. She's also figured out that you can talk into phones and sing into microphones. Unfortunately, she hasn't figured out that you don't need to stick a microphone all the way into your mouth to make it work. So fair warning. If you come to our house, and Madeline offers you her microphone to sing into, don't take it unless you like digesting other people's saliva.

I blame my lack of sewing abilities on a sick baby.

I haven't had much time for blogging the last few days, because Madeline decided to enter the terrible twos. A lady at church warned me this might happen once she learned to walk. She'd be perfectly happy one minute and then start screaming bloody murder until you pick her up and hold her. And then want to be held constantly for a few hours. And woe to you if you try to set her down because this means you obviously hate her and are trying to ruin her life. Then she'll be okay to get back down and play, but only if you sit and do nothing and watch her because she is the center of the universe. So no computer, no reading, no doing laundry, and definitely no dishes. I'm hoping she's just sick and this is a temporary thing, because she's also had diarrhea and been sleeping badly the past few nights, which is out of character for her. Is that bad to hope your kid is sick? Probably. Oh, what a horrid mother I am.

Anyway, while Jessie was home this weekend to perform the holding and comforting of Madeline, I attempted to sew on my new scout badges that I've had for a month. Turns out I was right to procrastinate, because apparently I'm about as good at it as oragami. It took me an hour to get on my numbers, during which time Jessie had moved half of his badges to his boys cout sash, cleaned his study, hung up all of Madeline's pictures, and sewed a few new shirts from scratch. Okay. Maybe he didn't make new shirts. Maybe it was a figment of my imagination, as a result of getting totally one-upped by my husband at having cool mother skills. Jessie ended up finishing my Webelos Assistant badge, because it pained him to watch me suffer. Also because I think he was reveling in his superiority. (Just kidding, Jessie. Please don't stop doing my sewing for me.)

A written record proving we did something today.

Today Madeline and I took a walk to the store, to prove we're not lazy wimps who sit and watch Judge Judy all day. (Which, we all know isn't possible anyway, because Judge Judy is only on an hour a day. Whew.) Madeline really liked being outside, and was pretty much bouncing up and down with joy the first two blocks. I don't know where she gets the energy. Mostly because she's bouncing up and down with joy half the day, and climbing on things or walking around the other half. I guess you know you're old when you like sitting still for longer than 30 seconds. The only time Madeline sits still that long is when she is unconscious. Even when she's eating a bottle, there's limbs flying and hair-grabbing and muffled talking, because she thinks it's cute to talk while she's eating. We'll have to work on that so she doesn't gross out future dates.

Adventures in pretending to be culinary

So I decided to experiment with my cooking today. It makes me feel domestic and productive. Because then when Jessie walks in and says "what did you do today?" I have something to show him other than a baby covered in graham cracker crumbs. Alas, the experimentation doesn't always go well. Jessie would refer you to the buttermilk chicken incident. And yet I keep trying. Because one of these days I am going to suddenly become a gourmet cook. A fantastic one. And Jessie will thank fate that he married such a wonderful woman and gain 50 pounds. It will be wonderful.

Anyway, today we're trying baked spaghetti. I think it sounds a little far-fetched, because you have to cook the spaghetti first. Which is lame. I object to recipes that make me cook things multiple times. Which is why we normally have macaroni and cheese or ramen. But I'm going to try it anyway, because maybe baked spaghetti is oh so much more tasty than regular spaghetti and I've been woefully deprived my whole life. Unfortunately, I had to search for a while to find a recipe that had only kinds of cheeses that I recognized, and few fresh herbs or vegetables. Because the cooking forums think that ricotta cheese and green onions are "staples of everyone's pantry". They've never been to my pantry. They would probably be put into shock at the sight of my pantry. And my vegetable drawer. But I feel good about life. I may cook from a box five nights a week, but my daughter is cuter than those gourmet cooks' daughters. Eat that.