Sometimes I think January is too long. Twenty days would have been sufficient. I'm all for symmetry and dividing the months up evenly, but February pretty much screwed up that plan. No one likes January. For months we've had holiday after holiday, and we've become accustomed to the rush. Then January hits, and we have an entire month of nothing. Nada. Well, Martin Luther King Day, but giving all respect to the man, it isn't a holiday if most people are still working. And winter has gone from festive and magical to muddy and dreary. And if that isn't enough to sap your joy right off your bones, right about now is when everybody has blown their New Year's resolutions. So now we're all cold, cheerless, bored failures. Welcome to January.
But never fear! In my infinite wisdom, I have come up with a really great plan to reorganize the calender in the interest of beating the mid-January blahs. Want to hear it? I knew you would. I've been working on it for at least ten minutes now, so you know it's genius. We're going to reallocate our resources, date-wise. Just take some extra days off the end of January. Give one each to April, June, September, and November, respectively, and three to February, which deserves more face time. Now all the other months have thirty-one days, so you don't need any rhymes to remember which ones are shorter. And January is now only 24 days long-completely tolerable, and over before you know it. And when Leap Year rolls around, we'll toss the extra day onto the end of December, during Christmas break, where we can enjoy it. I'm confident adopting this system will significantly improve the quality of life for everyone. No need to thank me. Just send a "Happy February" greeting my way this Monday. I'll be celebrating, even if no one else is.
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