Cami Warner's Day Off

So the other day, Jessie and I caught the end of Ferris Beuller's Day Off on some obscure cable channel we never watch. Jessie was shocked and appalled that I had never seen this show. Apparently, it is a classic. I really hadn't heard of it until a few years ago. I am woefully ignorant. Please send me hate mail. Anyway, it was a cultural awakening, and I spent the next hour trying to figure out a) why it is a classic and b) why I don't get a day off, even for holidays. I was pretty sure I needed one, because Madeline has recently hit the terrible twos with full force. She likes to be willfully disobedient and make messes faster than I can clean them up. Here is a sampling of awesome things she has done over the last few days:

-Pulled keys off of Jessie's laptop
-Dumped a box of spaghetti all over the floor
-Wrecked a puzzle we were in the middle of
-Colored all over her bedroom mirror and dresser with a marker
-Squeezed baby lotion all over the toilet and floor and then tried to eat it
-Drew with toothpaste on my closet shelves
-Threw a half hour fit after I wouldn't let her bring a laundry basket up the stairs
-Refused to eat meals unless her baby doll is on her lap (getting covered in sauces and such)
-Drawn all over herself with pens and markers. Multiple times.
-Drawn all over our television and television stand with a crayon
-Stolen cookies off the second shelf of the pantry, using toy buckets as stepping stools

Voila. And there you have my resume for why I deserve a day off. Fortunately, I have a mother who loves Madeline almost as much as I do, and likes to babysit. So I gave myself a day off. And it is fabulous. Don't get me wrong, I miss Madeline. It's a little quiet here. But it's kind of nice to be able to clean my house and watch it stay clean. (I know. I'm cleaning the house on my day off, which doesn't seem right. But it's my day off. Don't judge me.) And I got to sleep in. And stay in my pajamas until noon. So it's a pretty good day. I may even be crazy and go to the library. All by myself. And browse the books for as long as I want without chasing a toddler through the aisles. Or maybe go to a fast food place and sit and eat French fries all by myself, just because I can. Somebody stop me.