A story about my husband

So, my husband gave me permission to share a funny and somewhat embarrassing story about him on my blog. Mostly after I assured him it was definitely the sort of thing I would do all the time, in my dizty mode. Then, in the interest of total honesty, I also assured him I would be mocking him for the rest of the week because it WASN'T me this time, and I was going to take full advantage of that.

Anyway, on Sunday we were back in actual classes instead of nursery, which was sad because Madeline had grown accustomed to doing whatever she liked. So we were chasing her all over gymnasium, pulling her out of other people's scripture and diaper bags, taking away other kid's bottles, pulling her off stranger's laps, and trying to keep her out of the front of the room where our obvious lack of parenting skills would be much more visible. I finally had her somewhat content, coloring on our Sunday School handout, when I turn and realize that Jessie disappeared. Since Madeline was contained, I had no idea why he would leave. I finally spotted him in the back of the room, talking and laughing with this couple we have never met. Great, I thought. Jessie has finally made some friends. Why he felt social in the middle of the Sunday School lesson was a bit perplexing and distracting. He came back a minute later and explained the whole thing to me. Turns out he had no idea Madeline was right next to me (which was an understandable mistake, since her success at staying in one place for more than thirty seconds is lamentable). So he turned around looking for her, and spotted a little girl with short brown curly hair going through the couple's diaper bag. So he did what any sensible father would do, and booked it over there to grab her. Except after he grabbed her and tried to drag her back to his seat, the couple was nice enough to inform him that it was their kid. Just a few seconds too late to save Jessie's dignity.

Fortunately, apparently they've made that mistake a few times before themselves, because they thought it was pretty funny. Me, I was thinking: wonderful. I married a kidnapper. The ward is going to start locking up their toddlers when we come to church functions. I tried to point out to Jessie that they were wearing completely different color dresses, not to mention that other than the hair, they look nothing alike. He fed me some hooey about the other girl's dress being remarkably similar to a yellow dress Madeline owns. (Oh, but I checked her closet, dearest husband. She only has one yellow dress, that she hasn't worn for six months because it's way too small. You just had a moment. Where you lost your head. And yes, we're still within the week period that I'm going to mock you about it.) So the moral of the story is that Madeline is so naughty at church that we reflexively discipline any other child within twenty feet of us. Everything is her fault. Not Jessie's. I repeat- Madeline's fault, not Jessie's. Because she can't read my blog yet. Then I'll have to find another scapegoat. Drat it all.