It's a baby!

Well, in case you haven't heard, the results are in. And there's going to be even more estrogen around here. Just like my illustrious mother, we'll be beginning our family with two girls in a row! We're pretty excited about this. I'm really glad Madeline will have a sister to play with, and that I don't have to do any extra sewing projects to recover pink things in blue. And I get to reuse all of the cute dresses and shoes that Madeline didn't spend nearly enough time in. Now that I know, I'm having to restrain myself from doing up the crib and stocking the baby's dresser. I have enough discipline to at least put it off until Monday. Maybe. Or we might be ready for this baby by Sunday afternoon, even though she won't be ready for us for another four months. (She! Isn't that great?)

One thing that probably won't be ready for four months, however, is the name. We haven't really talked about any yet, and we're not going to narrow it down to less than three or four until after this girl makes an appearance. And we won't be sharing our contemplations, because we got a little too much input last time. Which resulted in us frantically trying to name our poor nameless child late at night after she'd already been around most of the day. And let me tell you, there's nothing more awkward than staring stupidly at a baby for twelve hours without being on a first name basis. And not knowing what to tell people when they call or visit to congratulate you and want to know what creative moniker you've bestowed on the little bundle of joy. So we're hoping to avoid that this time and decide pretty quickly.

Anyway. Hip hip hooray for little girls and sisters! And there was much rejoicing in the Warner household.

Just kidding

I know you've all been dying of suspense. So I won't keep you in the dark any longer. After an exciting day, I'm proud to announce that the newest little Warner is definitely a bouncing baby.......fetus of unknown sex. Awesome fake out, huh? I'm really not being mean. We don't know yet. Turns out the ultrasound tech at my doctor's office got sick and they couldn't find another tech to work today, so my appointment was canceled and rescheduled for Friday. I was definitely disappointed, but we'll live until Friday. Maybe. So stay tuned for the real announcement and we'll try to actually introduce appropriate pronouns to this baby story in the near future.

On fathers and father related things.

I guess I was supposed to post a tribute to fathers yesterday. Now I am officially uncool. So a little late: Yay for fathers. Mine, yours, his. Without fathers, there would be no us. Anyway, for father's day, Jessie got a new grill, and now he is a real manly man. We celebrated with steak, which Jessie cooked, because I am not manly enough to touch the grill. (Just kidding. Jessie would let me use the grill if I wanted to. He has no gender stereotypes except his nagging belief that Excel and budget sheets are definitely manly territory. But I use any excuse to let someone else do the cooking.) Unfortunately, I have my mother's tendency to buy way too much food for festive occasions. Fortunately, we had some friends to help us eat it so it wasn't so bad. And it gave Madeline the opportunity to kiss a boy. But that is a different story.

We celebrated Father's Day by taking my little brother down to Provo so he could start summer term at BYU. It brought warm fuzzies into my heart. And a lot of memories of my freshman year at BYU, hanging out in Heritage Halls and generally getting into mischief. I tried to impart my wisdom to my younger sibling, but I'm sorry to say he'll probably ignore it, and be better off for it too. Which tells you he's a smart kid.

That's about it. But I can't leave you without reminding our fans that tomorrow is the big day, in which we discover if our newest spawn will be of the male or female variety. stay tuned for the exciting developments. Or just, you know, ignore us for a few months and check back for pictures in November and you can find out that way. But I don't have the patience.

The life and times of a two year old

Hey everybody! I know, I just posted two days ago. Crazy. I'm not due for more witty sarcasm for at least a week. Somebody stop me. But sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet.

Madeline is getting older and wiser. Or at least she thinks she is. Basically, we've hit that lovely do-it-yourself stage, and any and all help from me is an affront to her dignity. If I do up the straps on her shoes, she has to undo them and do it herself. She wants to be the one to put in movies and DVDs, even if it is upside down. She wants to buckle herself in the car seat, clip her own nails, pick out and put on her own clothes, tuck herself in, and cross the road without holding my hand. Note that a good majority of these things are dangerous/impossible/destructive for a two year old, and therein lies our source of tension. Don't get me wrong, I would love for her to be able to get dressed herself, use the bathroom herself, and be totally independent. But statistics suggest she'll be dependent on me for some portion of her needs for at least 16 more years. We're trying to explain that to her, but she tends to get distracted by bugs in the window or the sun going behind a cloud, so we're doing what we can with sporadic thirty second lectures.

Madeline is also getting excited for big changes in her life. Not the ones that could happen in the next six months, like potty training or sisterhood. Madeline looks forward to things far in the future, because she likes to see the big picture. She likes to put on a backpack and wait by the window for a school bus to take her to kindergarten. (I haven't the heart to tell her that the school buses have taken a hiatus until September and she'll be sitting at that window for a while.) She's all about getting married in a pretty dress, either at the temple or WalMart. Whichever is closer. And she's definitely got her career as a truck driver all mapped out, and is just frustrated that they won't give her a driver's license until she gets tall enough to reach the pedals. Or, if that doesn't work out, she'll probably become a professional streaker, as she has recently discovered the thrill of running around au natural. We're such proud parents.

On feeling fat versus feeling pregnant.

My appetite for chocolate has returned. As I type, I am eating a giant bowl of chocolate ice cream. This probably isn't a good thing. Especially since my belly has started sticking out beyond the point of concealment. I thought I was excited for that part, after the weeks of no appetite and no weight gain, but then I remembered that nothing prepares you for feeling like a blimp. I know I look like what I am supposed to look like right now. But try telling that to my ego, which is busy trying to convince me that I am the Titantic. Hopefully this phase will wear off before I start getting extremely large, and thus correspondingly more demoralized. But I am going to have to remind myself to go easy on the ice cream. Drat the return of my taste buds.

Anyway. That's about it. Because as you've probably noticed, I've been feeling remarkably un-literary for the past month. Maybe someday I'll get my blogging groove back. Then I'll regale you with fun stories about how I'm trying to decide whether or not to toilet train Madeline or how Jessie will be done with school in two months and we will be setting off bottle rockets. Fun things like that.

My offspring and my poor choices.

Recently Madeline has decided she's a big fan of the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde movement. When she's happy, she's downright adorable. But when she's not happy, heaven help us all. She's rediscovered temper tantrums and we're having a lot of fun trying to convince her that being happy is way more fun. But I'm trying to focus on the downright adorableness, because that gives me less headaches. On that front, our big news for the day is that Madeline finally learned how to pedal her bike (really a tricycle/scooter thing). I've been trying to teach her for a month and today she finally connected the dots. It was kind of amazing how excited I was. I'm usually excited about Madeline's accomplishments, but not in a I want to shout it to the world kind of way, and tell random strangers, and give her a trophy. I haven't really been like that since she was learning to roll over and crawl and other such milestones. I blame the pregnancy hormones.

Speaking of which, I just realized there's a baby in there. Because the last week or so there's been some weird fluttering/flipping action going on that catches me off guard at weird times of day and reminds me: oh yeah. Something is alive in there. I'd kind of forgotten about that part. But I'm glad, because I can't wait for it to really start jiving so I can let Madeline feel it, because I'm pretty sure she'll think it's a hoot and we'll be set for entertainment for the next five months. Oh, and so Jessie can feel it move. But let's be honest, he's been there/done that, so Madeline's reaction is going to be more novel.

And, lastly, because I would just like to inform you all that I must be crazy. Because I've officially committed to returning to the bane of my existence. Which, in case you missed the last three years of my life, is a little place called Antimony. Which you can read about in the archives if you want to know all about how our grudge fest. And then you can wonder, as I am, if my IQ dropped twenty points or I just enjoy punishment. I fully expect to get sucked down a river or go into premature labor in the middle of nowhere or have Madeline get eaten by a bear. But these are sacrifices we must make.

Let's all be excited!

Hi. Wow, it's June. My how time flies when we're having fun. I think life has been busy the last few weeks, but I really can't remember. Maybe I have a Memorial Day hangover. Anyway. Just thought I'd check in and let you know I'm alive. Anyway, here are some things I am excited about today, in order of importance and/or based on the order they come into my brain.

1) My brother is going to be a missionary in Chile. He will undoubtedly be awesome, and hopefully not get too friendly with earthquakes. (Just kidding Mom! No earthquakes in Chile!)

2) We find out the gender of this little bugger on June 22nd. Then I can quit calling it a little bugger. And there will be rejoicing in the land.

3) Jessie is going golfing with his company this Saturday as part of a tournament. He has never been before. Don't tell, but I think he's kind of nervous. It's kind of cute.

4) I sometimes enjoy junk food now. I ate a cookie and I liked it. Maybe food and I can start getting along now. Also, I gained a pound. I'm sure in a week I won't be excited about that. But for now I am.

That's it. I'm sure there are more things I could be excited about, but that would take too much energy. So I'll put it on my list of things to do tomorrow. Or have Jessie do it for me. He's very obliging.