All about pregnancy and me and pregnancy and babies.

I have a little bit of a one track mind lately. Can you blame me? When your every move feels like a freight train, you start to get a little obsessed with your stomach. And if it will ever return to normal proportions. We have five weeks until the due date, which sounds really close but not nearly close enough. Today we got a little crazy, and since Madeline is still obsessed with chains from Christmas, we combined our obsessions and created this:

It's a little hard to see, but you should be impressed. This is our Ali Baba countdown. It's highly complex and amazing. We have two more weeks of white chains. Then we move into yellow, which means CAUTION! FULL TERM! 10% chance of baby or maybe snow! But based on past experience, this is a depressing phase in which I will hopefully wonder every day if maybe today is the day, but nothing will happen except an excess of walking and drinking pineapple juice. My birthday has a special chain with balloons and birthday cake, because Madeline has expressed great concern that there is birthday cake this month. Then on Valentine's Day we have the special green link in honor of my due date. Green for go time, obviously. Not that we'll have a baby by then. Then we move into red territory. Red meaning danger: Cami is liable to be extremely hormonal and dangerous and ready to consume castor oil. Red meaning: We love you Ali Baba, but you're late and if you know what's good for you you will exit the premises immediately. Then, at the top, a handmade visual depiction of our new little man on the 22nd, which is my induction date. This was not my choice. I have no qualms with being induced the second I hit my due date. I also love epidurals and other medical interventions. I'm probably on some dangerous mother list somewhere. But back to induction: My doctor is out of town the week of my due date, so it was early induction or waiting it out. Woe is me. I'm going to be an unhappy blimp by the 22nd. Speaking of which:

I feel like I'm bursting. I know, other women have been bigger. But I feel like this is the biggest I've ever been pregnant, and I can't look away from my slow descent into rotundity.

Anyway. You've probably been thoroughly inundated with pregnancy updates now, so we'll give you a break. Thanks for sticking through. I promise that in a month there will be a reward for your patience. And mine. I have been assured that no women has ever been pregnant forever.