Dear Jalopy,
This is your mother. As much as I have loved being your snug little home the past nine months, it's becoming painfully obvious to me that either you or one of my major organs has got to go. This whole sharing space thing isn't working anymore. And since I'm rather fond of my bladder, stomach, and lungs (as bladders, stomachs and lungs go), I thought it might be nice if you'd decide to make your appearance in the world. Immediately. Since this would also keep you from banging your head on my pelvis and being kicked by your older sister during diaper changes, I'm confident this would be a mutually beneficial arrangement. I promise we'll be nice and feed you often and dress you in reasonably fashionable clothes. Trust me, onesies are all the rage with newborns right now. Anyway, my hips and I would both appreciate celebrating your birthday today. Thanks for your consideration.
Lovingly,
Your mother
P.S. That's my nice, diplomatic way of saying Get Out. In case you didn't catch that. Being a fetus and all.
1 comment:
I have those same thoughts, and I still have 5 weeks to go.
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