Ch-ch-changes

Well it's that time of year again. New Year's Resolutions! Year in Review. Auld Lang Syne. All that good stuff. We had very few expectations this year of changing much and ended up hanging just about everything. Go figure. We were jut going to chill and plan and regroup. Which is why we never make plans, because things just seem to happen to us. In case you missed all the big stuff, here is a recap of all the big changes we didn't mean to make:

• Moving, obviously. New house, new neighborhood, new ward, new school. No biggie. 
• New callings. Nursery is the sweetest gig ever, people. I really don't know why it gets such a bad rap. Food, toys, singing, and no prep? Plus we only do it every other week.
• We had Jessie's niece move in with us. That's been an eye opening experience, introducing us to the crazy and hazy world of teenagers. So now we have five kids under our roof. For a little while anyway. No one can accuse us of being sane.
• Jessie changed jobs again. Right after we moved. Because why not just make everything crazy?     Now he works for a company here at Thanksgivong point. The commute is awesome. Changing insurances again, not so awesome. But c'est la vie.

So there's the major highlights. With all the unintended upheaval we caused this year, my goal for next year is pretty much to settle and go with the flow. By which I mean we'll probably take over a small country or build a stadium or something. But hey, let's pretend to make goals. And by that I mean pretend to make goals while really just  anticipating the craziness of next year. Okay. Good plan.

So let's start with Ethan. This year we're looking forward to nursery (2 months baby!), learning how to talk, maybe getting into a toddler bed, being ridiculously adorable, in crossing his eyes, and breaking many, many things but hopefully not bones. 

Spencer is excited to improve his grammar, start some at home preschool, learn more letters and numbers, learn all the lyrics to My Little Pony songs, and potty train. Eventually. Someday. Maybe.

Kimberly is psyched to continue preschool and kindergarten prep, learn to read, make some new buddies, learn to ride a bike, grow way too tall, and design ever more elaborate and creative outfits.

Madeline will be busy busy busy, finishing first grade and moving to second, riding a two wheeler, writing and illustrating novels, being a social butterfly, learning everything, and prepping for her baptism in a year and a half. (Say what?!?)

I will pretty much lay around and do nothing, when I'm not cleaning up the never ending tide of clutter and laundry, cooking, shuttling, exercising, doing homework, shopping, reading, trying to find my sewing machine so I can learn how to use it, and remembering to breathe once in a while.

Jessie anticipates lots of changes at work, rekindling his love of puzzles, fixing rand kings around the house, starting a exercise program, becoming a male model, and cleaning all the stuff I didn't.

I'm sure the year will go exactly as I've outlined, because we never do anything rash or crazy without a lot of forethought and planning. But whatever 2015 brings, here's hoping it's as awesome as life is with now. 

Storms are brewing in your eyes

 

So I figured we should devote a post to Ethan's vision, because it gets a lot of press time in the real world. A one year old with glasses is apparently quite the crowd pleaser/shocker. So allow me to expound upon how Ethan became a loveable nerd, by answering the questions we get asked all the time. Usually I don't mind when people ask questions, because paparazzi is a noble calling. But some people say really dumb things. We'll get to that. First, the more intelligent questions:

 

 

 

Q: How did you know he needed glasses?

 

A: A few months before his birthday, he started developing a lazy eye. We didn't notice it for a while, but his eyes started moving separately and crossing at weird times. I asked his pediatrician about it at his 12 month appointment, and she said not to worry and have him join the circus. But I had my heart set on him being an Olympic curler, so we went to see a pediatric ophthalmologist.

 



 Q: How can a baby take an eye exam? They can't talk!

A: We went to special baby sign classes where they taught them the hand signals for "blurry", "clear" and "strabismus".  Or they do some tests where they dilate the pupils so they can look into the eye with special refractive lenses and measure the strength of prescriptions by the shape of the eye. Modern medicine is pretty fly, yo.

Q: So what is wrong with him?

A: Basically, he has really, really bad eyesight, like +5.5 and +6.0 for those of you with glasses. So his eyes were always turning in and focusing so hard they kind of got screwed up (that's the scientific term for it). A fun thing called esotropia, which basically means his eyes don't move and work together. You can google it if there's nothing on Netflix tonight. Which is basically lazy eye, which means besides the glasses, he also gets to wear a patch 3-4 hours a day. Hooray.

Q: How do you get a one year old to wear glasses?

A: Tell him all the cool kids are doing it. Or if he's not interested in peer pressure, you can follow him around every minute for a week putting them back on every time he takes them off until he gets tired of yelling and screaming and being tortured and resigns himself to his fate. It's a fun process, filled with laughter, joy, and candy. Which, incidentally, is a fun trick to play: put a cookie in each hand and then slip on the glasses. If you're lucky, he'll cry because he hates the glasses but be unwilling to relinquish the cookies. Ha ha ha ha. (That was an evil villain laugh.)

Q: How long did it take to get him to wear glasses?

A: About 3-4 weeks before I could do the dishes without worrying he was doing drugs in the bathroom while I wasn't looking....I mean 3-4 weeks before he was a good little nerd.

Q: How do you get a baby to wear a patch?

A: I will pay good money for the answer to this question. Otherwise, see above. It's basically the same process.

Q: How long until he was used to the patch?

A: Never.

Q: He is so darn cute in glasses. Aren't you so glad he gets to wear them?

A: Well, if it was up to us, we would prefer he was able to see stuff, and as you can see above, getting them to stay on was a piece of cake. But since he must be vision impaired, yes, it helps that he looks like a baby model. What, you want a picture? Okay.

 

Q: I always wanted a kid with glasses.

A: That is not a question, and also a stupid thing to say, because everyone wants their kid to have a vision impediment. Thanks for playing, weirdo.

Q: My kid also got glasses at a very young age. Do you want to hear our life story?

A: Yes, of course, because we are in the cool kid club now and we must exchange secret handshakes and commiserate.

Q: His glasses don't stay on very well. You should put on one of those strings on the back.

A: For some reason this is never a question, but a command. Thank you random person at the grocery store, we had not thought of such an elegant solution. Except we did, and we tried it, and it made him behave like a rabid dog trying to pull the glasses of his head and scratch  his face and mangle his glasses, so it was a rousing success. But it was so awesome we like to save it for special occasions like dinner parties.

Q: How do you keep him from breaking or losing them?

A; This is the only advice I shall give if you ever have a small child with glasses. Get the warranty. We are frequent fliers at the Walmart vision center and in almost three months have been in about half a dozen times to have them repaired and just got one of them totally replaced, absolutely free! Because Walmart loves nerds! As far as losing them goes, it is inevitable that eventually we will lose them for good. We have already had to retrieve them from the school yard, under the car in the garage, deep in the depths of our armchairs and couches, under beds, and in cupboards. But there is a small but dedicated part of my brain that seems to have specialized and does nothing but keep track of where I lost saw Ethan's glasses and make sure they are on his face. Jessie's brain does not have this special Glasses Nazi Area, so maybe someone in neurology should study that.

Well, that's probably a pretty good wrap up. If you have any other questions, feel free to hang around Walmart until we happen by, because this is where all serious medical consultations are held. He is pretty dratted cute though. He certainly looks pretty smart, though I have my doubts about his actual intelligence after watching him bang into walls repeatedly. But there's time.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

I think we're starting a new tradition called Belated Birthday Blogging! This little girl has been waiting a month for a spotlight:

I can't believe this diva is four. Finally. It seems like we always think she is older than she is because we're trying to lengthen out the time between her and Spencer. But marvelous and amazing things have befallen her since she has reached this great age. She's always saying things like, "Four year olds aren't afraid, they love dogs." And "I listen now that I'm four. I was bad when I was two." The veracity of these claims has yet to be proven, but we like the thought. Some fun facts about a four year old Kimberly:

• She loves preschool. She's always telling me Miss T said this and Miss T said that, and Miss T is the ultimate authority, She loves her friends and her letters and field trips, my oh my, make her world paradise. 
• Kimberly loves ponies, purple and pink, fashion, and all things pretty. Her favorite doll is her Rarity pony because "she's so fashion". She is very particular about what she wears. We finally convinced her to wear shirts and leggings under revealing dresses, but it was a battle. She absolutely refuses to wear anything she deems unworthy, She sometimes cries if I try to put her in something that's not "pretty". She always wants her hair like mine and her favorite styles include "messy bun", "one ponytail in back", and "that twisty braid I had at my old church". 
• Spencer is her truest friend and worst enemy. They spend most days together and they're either conspiring to flood the house, getting into the food stores, or trying to break each other's ear drums. Kimberly loves the opportunity to be the oldest when Madeline is gone at school and tries to mother and scold and boss.
• She continues to be selective in her friendships. She has two or three good little buddies who are her world and she is always begging to play with them. Fortunately she plays very well with these little friends and they are fun little girls. She seems drawn to kids older than herself, which may or may not be good when they all start school a year or two earlier than her. 
• She continues to be both super sweet and very emotional. She loves to help: help cook, help clean, help with the baby. But don't try to get her to do anything that's not her own idea, or you'll pay for it. 
• She says the funniest, most grown up things sometimes, and asks so many questions that Madeline hasn't even thought of yet. A few samples: "I prayed and now I'm closer to heaven." "When I'm grown up I want to work at Applebees. Not BYU because you don't cook and wait there." "I just forgot to watch my step." "For Christmas I want a straight stick so I can just touch and poke people." 

There's far more but I guess I can't make up for months of not posting in one night. Kimberly sure does crack us up, and I live in fear of the teenage years when the boys will be flocking and she'll be flirting and oh boy oh boy. But for now we'll enjoy her sassy and sweet attitude we couldn't get along without. 

Boy don't you know you can't escape me, ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Time for another installment in the series of time marching forward at an inexorable pace. I don't like it much, but what can you do? This time, the little munchkin that is growing up without my permission is my little baby. If I keep saying that, it will be true, right?

 

 

How is it possible this guy is one? Ethan sure keeps us on our toes. I thought that after three other kids I'd mostly know what I was doing. Ha. Ethan has defied every trick I used with the other kids, done everything his own way, and given us fits. But he's so darn cute. So here's some stuff about Ethan:

 

 

-He still doesn't do milk. His eczema has gotten better but still flares up pretty often and the poor kid itches until he bleeds sometimes. Hopefully he'll outgrow that soon.

-His sleep continues to be less than ideal, but the last three days he has miraculously started really and truly sleeping through the night. Eleven or twelve hours worth. Hallelujah! I know that now that I've written that down he'll be up every hour, but I've had three straight nights of eight hours and I'm feeling a little giddy and reckless.

-Mobility wise he's very speedy on his knees, and he does not like to sit still. His proficiency at escaping us seems to make him content with crawling. He can stand and take a few steps unaided but he's not thrilled about it and he often picks up his feet so we can't make him stand. Punk. I'm sure he'll get there eventually, but this is the story of Ethan: you will not force him to do anything until he's good and ready.

-The kid likes caves, tents, and other enclosed spaces that he can hide in. Thinks they are hilarious. He can now open the doors to our shower and that's his happy place. Which is fine most the time, not so great when we've just showered and it's a water wonderland.

-He doesn't talk much yet, but he likes to repeat sounds and I'm pretty sure he has a special sound for crackers. He also says mama once in a while, which I like to rub in Jessie's face since he brainwashed our other children.

-Personality wise we're still seeing his quirks unfold. He's an interesting mix of the other kids. (I know I'm not supposed to compare kids, but when they all look like each other, it just happens.) He's quieter and more observant than Spencer or Madeline, but he's got a high pitched scream and a secret diva inside. I'm pretty sure my eardrums are permanently damaged.

 

Anyway, that's probably about it for now. Four kids has been the adventure of a lifetime, but we've survived the first year, and I know without a doubt Ethan is an invaluable addition to our family. He makes us laugh, and the kids are all enamored with him. If their love doesn't kill him, we'll enjoy his antics for years to come. Happy birthday Etheroo!

The price I pay

Today we completed another fun trip to the grocery store. It was fairly uneventful, which is to say, full of tears and chaos and other mundane and normal activity. Sometimes after outings where we resemble a circus more than a hallmark card, I'll see a mother with two or so well-behaved and appropriately age spaced children and think with a little longing about running errands with a few less hands on board. Of course, I love my children, and there's that age old question: which one could I possibly give up to gain a little more peace and quiet? The answer is, naturally, none of them. And today as I processed these musings, it came to me: this is the price I pay. The crazy, noisy, chaotic price I pay. The madness before bed, the fighting and the screaming, the busyness and the destruction. All part of my payment for the life I chose. Which begs the question, what did I choose to pay for?

I choose to pay the price to see four bright and shining faces every day, hopefully smiling and happy, but always calling me Mommy. I am compensated with funny toddler jokes, hugs and kisses, walks to the park, and reminders about the joy of little things. I have been lucky enough to experience the miracle of bringing new life into the world four times, snuggling four precious newborns, seeing four little beings say their first words and take their first steps, and being an active participant in creation. I have the privilege of seeing small brothers and sisters learn to share, to laugh together, to work together, to scheme together. I get to enjoy four different and continuously changing phases of child development, for better or worse, and when one gets hard to handle another will blossom into delight. Can you possibly put a price on being both burdened and blessed with the responsibility of taking four young people on a journey from babyhood to adulthood?

So you see, I pay a pretty hefty price for this life. I have crazy work conditions and supremely hard days and more than a few trips to the edge of my sanity. But my compensation is this:

 

And somehow, when I really sit down and think about it, I feel like I'm getting quite the bargain.

Only hate the road when your missing home

Hi all! So we've moved. Flown the coop. Relocated. I would have updated you before now but it took a while to get the old internet up and running, and blogging on my phone is an exercise in pain. But now, here we are in Traverse Mountain, and life is rolling along. We're all still in the adjustment stage, some of us being cooler adjusters than others. Maybe a family member rundown is in order. I'll even throw in some pictures from the photo shoot my cousin did for us right before we got bored and decided to move.

And here's Ethan! Kid has an obsession with cords, vines, hair and all things he can pull. He is having fun at the new house and probably cares least that we moved. He has been sleeping so much better since he got his own room. He's made it through the night a few times and is not perfect but getting better at self soothing. It helps his bedroom is across the house so if I forget to turn on the monitor (which I usually don't do on purpose, but in a sleepy haze at 3 in the morning when I turn it off so Jessie doesn't wake up, it doesn't always go back on), he really has to get worked up and loud to wake me up. He has gotten to be quite a fast crawler and is just discovering the lure of the stairs, so we should really locate our baby gate. Which, besides the screws to the crib, is one of two things we lost hardware to when we moved, because we are smart, so Ethan is dwelling in a pack and play. He is also learning that it hurts to fall down on wood floors. Lucky kid gets to learn to walk in a death trap. Yay!

As far as sleeping goes, Spencer is the only one really struggling. He doesn't like sleeping downstairs even though it's only about twenty steps from our room, and he doesn't like napping in a new place. So he goes to bed about 9:30 and has taken about 3-4 naps in his bed since we got here. In an unlikely turn of events he is currently asleep (thus the blogging) but it's on his floor. At least we're getting closer. He is a crazy whirlwind of devastation and stress. He gets lost every time we step out the door. At the museum the other day he was gone for 20-30 minutes and we had security scouring the building when he magically appeared right where we left him. He breaks everything he can get his hands on. He threw a toy at our tv screen and cracked it pretty good. Then it developed the annoying habit of going completely white, black, or rainbow every thirty seconds until you pounded it with your fist, and now I'm pretty sure the pounding has spread the cracks in the LCD and now we can't see anything. So that's cool, and the most expensive thing any of our kids has broken. Spencer is cool like that.

So disclaimer, I had to steal these pictures off of facebook since only Jessie's computer has a CD drive, and apparently all the pictures I uploaded of Kimberly were in black and white, so she gets to be cool and different. Kimberly loves having her own room, goes to sleep great, and in fact has been taking more naps than Spencer, although they are generally on our couch or the aforementioned hardwood floors. She does not like going to a new primary, but on only our second week actually attending all three hours of church, we discovered she will consent to stay if she can sit with the little girl up the road with whom she has become good friends. This means she doesn't sit with her own class, but baby steps, right? She is getting into puzzles again but isn't as good as she was when she was two because she isn't as patient anymore. We blame Madeline for that one. Speaking of our little drama queen:

Madeline does not like being out of school and does not like that we moved, so life is pretty much terrible. Well, besides getting to go to museums and have play dates and have her own room and walk in closet and go on vacation to Bryce Canyon and all the other bazillion fun things we have done for her lately, life is pretty much terrible. She has already made several friends but not nearly enough because their are some moments of the day they are all busy. She has been busy writing notes about what we all do all day and drawing pictures and otherwise making messes.

I've been packing. Then I was cleaning. Then I was unpacking. Somewhere in there I held a baby and lost sleep and tried to keep Spencer from dying. There was that weekend all the children were gone at Bryce Canyon for a couple of days, and Jessie and I pretended to go on a date while we doing all day errands and cleaning our townhome. It was nice to be able to go places without having to buckle in fifty people or pack snacks or plan around short tempers and multiple naps. Ethan was gracious enough to be understanding about our largely ignoring him to get things done. Things are starting to calm down now, and I've decided to turn a blind eye to the rest of the stuff we need to organize for a while. Because YOLO or something.

Jessie has also been a busy bee. He's been working hard during the day with some stressful busy stuff and then pulling double duty coming home to a messy house and organizing. Not to mention all the random fixer upper stuff he's been responsible for. Home Depot is his new best friend. (For all our home reapir needs, we go to Home Depot. For all decorating and household needs we go next door to Walmart. We're so classy.) Hopefully we haven't killed him the past month. If you see him out wandering through your neighborhood with a vacant expression and a chocolate chip cookie, don't worry, he's just on his break.

So that's us. We're loving the new place and trying to figure out what's next. Start a major corporation? Run for President? Adopt 10 kids? Don't worry, we'll figure it out. We just don't want to be bored for too long, sitting here twiddling our thumbs and watching our children throw well-behaved tea parties.

I'm gonna make this place your home

Hey folks. Well, big things are afoot here at the Warner residence. We got sick of having a certain adorable eight month old in our room all night, and no one else volunteered to let him live in their room, so there was naturally only one solution. We decided to buy a house.

This house. Specifically. It kind of happened rather fast. We were not moving until next year. Then we decided to test the waters and ask a realtor what we should be doing to get ready for that. And here we are, a month later, moving. Whoopsie daisy. Anyhow, it may be crazy but we feel good about it. This little number is in Traverse Mountain in Lehi. It has, among other wonderful features, a room for Ethan to scream in, a room for Madeline to scream in, a yard for Spencer to fall down in, a big room for Jessie to hold sibling reunions, and a garage for me to park in. Kimberly has no valid reason to move to this house. 

We are super excited about all the upcoming changes, but life has taken on a new brand of crazy in the wake of Hurricane Big Move. We have a lot of boxes around. Madeline gets mad whenever we pack up anything she didn't give us permission to pack. Spencer likes to climb on all the piles of boxes, some of them at pretty awesome heights now. Ethan is just learning to crawl, because he has impeccable timing. On the bright side, he's happier now that he can go places. On the not so bright side, it's an awesome time to have random stuff all over the floor and in half packed boxes for his exploration and delight. Kimberly is just excited it will be summer and Madeline will be home and she will get her own room from which to send forth her edicts on exactly how we should live our lives. 

Anyway, that's what's going down. Forgive us if we don't make radio contact for a while. Once we hit shore and the dust settles we'll let you know if we all made it alive and if we have alienated all our new neighbors with our winning ways. Ciao.

What a man, what a man

Never fear, I didn't forget I was writing two posts. I just forgot I had four children. Or something. But I am pleased to announce that Jessie Lynn Warner the First has finally, officially, and irrevocably, gotten old.

This is what we were doing a year ago. When we were young. Now that crab would eat Jessie because he is old and decrepit and low on the food chain.

 

Jessie is 30! That doesn't even sound old anymore. Probably because I'm almost 30 and obviously I won't be old when I'm 30. But I want to make it clear, if I haven't with the other twelve references, that Jessie is old. Very old. But he is also pretty cool. He has done much with the prime of his life. Actually, during the Olympics we were watching some snowboarder who was 29 and Jessie got very mournful and was very bummed he hadn't won any gold medals or done anything else 'impressive'. Well, Mr. Warner, I am here to tell you that I think your first 30 years were very impressive. Super impressive. I  feel a list coming on.

 

30 impressive things about Jessie's first 30 years of life

(In a particular order, which is, the order they came to my brain)

1. Baptized a member of the LDS church
2. Served an honorable mission in Buenos Aires, Argentina
3. Married a girl almost as impressive as himself in the temple
4. Had 4 kids in five years (I give you partial credit, because we all know you didn't actually have them, but people are rightly impressed by you anyway.)
5. Bought and paid for 3(4?) cars
6. Bought and paid for a few doorknobs in a house
7. Served in at least a dozen church callings faithfully
8. Traveled to and looked hot in Costa Rica
9. Looked hot in Utah, Nevada, California, Idaho, and Texas (it is rumored that you also looked hot in over a half dozen easterly states and Argentina, but as no eyewitness testimony was recorder by anyone in this house, we cannot substantiate the claim)
10. Earned a Bachelor's degree
11. Earned an MBA (while supporting a wife and daughter who sat at home and watched reality tv and ate junk food)
12. Got a real job
13. Got more and better real jobs
14. Got promoted a lot, I'd write the number, but I forgot how many times. Honestly, Jessie, stop getting promoted. You make the little people jealous and sad. And they cry.
15. Broke both wrists at the same time
16. Got an honest to goodness, knocked out for hours concussion
17. Founded an annual White Elephant party
18. Made at least five major furniture purchases
19. Made Eagle Scout and other additional cool scouting things I don't the names of, including winning an award for being inspirational or something dumb like that
20. Won a television, ipad, gift cards, international trip, and other stuff, BUT NOT RECENTLY (hint hint)
21. Fixed a lot of household stuff and dry walled a ceiling, tiled some floors, and beyond 
22. Made my parents like you as much or more than me
23. Convinced your own mother you walk on water (I'm still searching for blackmail)
24. Watched the entire 7 seasons of The West Wing
25. Won a spelling bee (or maybe 2nd? Still impressive)
26. Had an appendectomy
27. Did I mention being a dad to 4 children? (Technically different than contributing DNA.) Good job sir.
28. Mastered the art of installing car seats
29. Beaten your parents at Pinochle
30. Put up with yours truly. For 8 years.

See? I want to know if Mr. Gold Medal can compete with that resume. Pretty impressive stuff, Mr. Warner. You don't sit around wasting time. Happy birthday and may your next 30 years be as awesome as the last. But maybe less hospitals. We love you around here.

It's her party, and she'll cry if she wants to

Hold on to your hats folks. That wonderful habit the people have of getting older every year means that not one, but TWO posts are imminent. We'll go chronologically for fun. And for order. So, coming up first:

Isn't that awesome? You just know it's going to be in her wedding video someday. Unless she elopes. Then I'll put it in an announcement in the paper. Anyhow, this little urchin is six years old now! My, how the time flies. Except it seems like it should be longer. I might be the only mother on the planet who feels like their kid should be older than they are. Maybe it's the three younger siblings? Who knows. We love having her around though. She's a little crazy and a little amazing. Here's some stuff I don't want to forget about Madeline:

• She loves school still and is doing great. She reads above grade level and is always, always writing. She writed her own stories and while her spelling is a bit creative, some of the are hilarious. One story was a rip off of "Brown bear, brown bear" with all of our family seeing each other. Until she got to Daddy, then it went a little like this: "Daddy, daddy, what do you see? I see Spencer looking at me. Hey Spencer. Stop it. Stop looking at me. No. Stop it. No. Stop it. I can't. Please stop it. Okay. I stopped. Thank you." 
• Although she has always, always gone by Madeline to all but a few people, she decided she didn't like writing out Madeline Warner on all her papers. So she decided to go by Maddy on her schoolwork. Which is weird, because I always spell it Maddie, but she decided that's what she wanted to do. And since there's a Maddy in the am class at school, all her work is now signed Maddy W. Cracks me up.
• She is also always, always drawing. I have to take away pens and crayons all the time to get her to listen. She got an art set for her birthday and spends hours making stuff at the table. She tapes weird shapes together and calls it a toy for Ethan. She recreates everything in construction paper.
• She still loves people and her friends more than anything. She has some good little buddies in the neighborhood and together they get in a lot of trouble and create a lot of drama. Her favorite letter is not M, but R, because that is what one of her friend's name starts with 
• She aspires, among other things, to be a builder, a teacher, an author, and a mother. And when she is a mother, and I quote, "my kids will all love my husband more than me. And it will make me sad."
• Her favorite pop culture icons are My Little Pony, Frozen (in which she is Elsa and Kimberly is Anna, naturally), Barbie, and Rapunzel. She has Let it Go memorized, like most small girls, and she sings it loudly in public restrooms. With a lot of attitude.
• She struggles with disappointment. Being told no often leads to a meltdown of epic proportions and time alone in her room kicking the door. We fully expect the teenage years to be horrendously wrenching.
• She loves to mother Ethan, and will often pick him up when he is crying on the floor and bring him to me. Which is not so helpful but sweet. More helpful is when she sits him up and gives him toys and makes him laugh. He adores her.
• She and Kimberly have a typical love\hate relationship of sisters. They play together quite well most of the time, but Madeline has a hard time giving up control in their little fantasy world.

So that's a small sampling of Madeline. She is a bit exasperating at times since she devotes herself so totally to whatever her little soul is doing, which means getting her attention is hard and all matters are life and death, but we love her passion, curiosity, and creativity. Happy birthday, Maddy Lou. May you always be so full of fun.

He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast

Well, I promised you a post. A post about this boy:

 

This is his angry face. But not really. His angry face is much more angry.

 

Anyway, it has only been a month since his birthday, but he deserves a post all the same. Because this boy is awesome. A little bundle of terror and fun. We liken him unto our own Energizer bunny. He never stops going, and when I pray for the safety of my children, it's possible I pray most sincerely for his. Luckily he hasn't had many serious incidents since the back to back face mashings that provided such great photo fodder for facebook, but he's always smashing his hand, his finger, hitting his head, falling down, getting stuck, and otherwise making us fear for his life. When he's not doing that, he's making messes, a sampling of which I have already graced you with. I don't bat an eye when I walk through the house and step in something wet anymore. The boy has a royal obsession with dumping and filling. Also with putting toilet paper in the toilet and flushing it. Over and over and over and over. You could toilet paper someone's house with his spoils. Other tidbits about Spencer:

 

• He loves to terrorize people. He chases everyone around with his hands up like claws roaring like a dinosaur. I literally find the girls cowering in corners in fear.
• He has to pick his own clothes and get himself dressed. If you pick clothes he will not wear them unless you put them back in the drawer and let him pick. Other quirky habits: He changes pajamas four times a night, he likes to wear the girl's socks, and he refuses in genera; to wear matching pajama tops and bottoms. Also he tends to lose his pants.
• Speaking of terrorizing, he loves Ethan. So so much. So much that he tends to throw himself upon Ethan with great force and grab his limbs and wrestle and wake him up from naps because he misses him so badly. Did I mention I also tend to pray with some fervency for Ethan's safety?
• He loves cars and trains. Like many boys, he dotes on Thomas, and one of his favorite things is to get piles of cars and line them up in rows while laying on his stomach. Maybe I'm a little biased, but slightly adorable beyond words.
• He is always excited about everything. His vocal abilities are only so so, but he manages to convey his meaning mostly through inflection. Everything ends in a high pitched squeal of-excitement. "Dad-DEE?!? Mad-LYN?!? Cook-KEE?!?" He may or may not be accused of sounding like a girl. Hopefully puberty will be a relief for him.
• He loves nursery now. Only took six months, but now he runs in like a champ and beats up the other kids in delight. We're so proud. The nursery leaders probably feel the same way when we come to get him that I feel at bedtime.
• Other things Spencer enjoys in no particular order: shoes, getting his nails painted, outside, slides, treats, juice, Daddy, dumping things, dogs at a distance, doing things himself, reading to himself, ripping up books, meat, dress up, climbing, jumping, tackling, dolls, snacks, ipads, iphones, anything electronic, hiding under blankets, running away, pushing things, pushing people, laughing maniacally.

So that's Spence for you. A little bundle of joy and mischief and love and independence and busyness. We sure love him and couldn't get along without him, although we'd probably breathe easier if he lived in a plastic wrapped bubble in an enclosed bouncy house. Happy belated birthday sweet boy.

Born to be Wild- or, All about Boys

It's been almost six months since we became a tribe of six (and with six of us I do feel like we qualify as a tribe now, or maybe a small pack of wild dogs). And let me tell you, some days I still feel as overwhelmed as the first day Jessie went back to work and said, "Good luck! Stay alive!" Once in a great while I feel like I'm starting to get on top of things, and that maybe in the not so distant future I might be a cool, accomplished, productive member of society. The ratio of these moments is somewhere along the lines of the ratio of the number of times Spencer creates a mess to the number of times he cleans one up. Hmm, funny, there might be a correlation there.

Anywho, I probably only have the gumption to chronicle anything today because I'm utilizing this bad boy:

 

This is my birthday present. Our old laptop was perfectly useable and awesome, except the small detail that the screen was almost entirely detached from the keyboard. And it is not supposed to be removable like these newfangled tablet computer whatsits. So we splurged and now I have a shiny new computer with only a few crumbs in the keyboard. Because the children like how shiny and new it is too. It makes me want to do computer stuff.

 

So back to raising multiple small heathens. A lot of the stress comes from this deceptively cute life form:

 

Don't you love his awesome hair? Small side note: I have since cut off the wild patchy Mohawk, left over from when he went entirely bald except on the top of his head. It's all growing back nicely now, but I couldn't bring myself to cut it even and respectable. I'm a wimp like that. But then one day I just seized the moment and ran a razor over his head and now he looks like he's ten years old. But I'm really good at tangents today. We're supposed to be talking not about how adorable he is, but his evil plan to take over the world.

 

Ethan loves to be chill, easy-going, delightful, and happy, until he doesn't. He is much more like Madeline as a baby than either of the last two children, and obviously, this scares Jessie and I witless. He still has a fair bit of baby eczema going on despite my going mostly off milk and soy, and the itching bothers him. Also, he has seen fit to follow in his brother's footsteps and be an early teether. He has four so far. And unlike his brother, he is not a fast learner when it comes to nursing gently. Also, even beyond the itchiness and teething, he's a pretty lousy sleeper. At night he's okay, but during the day he doesn't like to sleep more than thirty or forty minutes at a time unless he's exhausted and protected from siblings. And he fights sleep worse than Spencer does, which is saying something. He must be nursed, rocked, or swung to sleep. We've started crying it out, which is proving to be just as traumatic for me as when we did it with Madeline, and I get to spend a lot of time listening to my baby screech like he's dying and suffering from guilt. But I keep reminding myself that it made Madeline so much happier, and therefore will solve all my problems ever, because if four children have taught me anything, it's that the same method works on every child without fail. So the upshot of all this is, Ethan is one of my more difficult babies. But he's so cute. Drat.

 

Since we're talking about evil plans to take over the world:

 

I just realized this is from his birthday, and it's March and I never wrote a birthday post for him. See, my one blogging goal. Poor third child. Maybe I'll get around to that. Which means maybe I won't tell you right this moment every detail of living with a two year old Spencer, and save that for a birthday post. Except this list:

 

Strawberry syrup on the rug.

Bottle of blue snowcone syrup on the carpet and kitchen floor.

Small pools of milk carefully poured onto every kitchen chair. And under every kitchen chair.

Ran over by a shopping cart. Twice.

Ate a whole box of ding dongs.

Ate a whole bag of tootsie rolls.

Dumped several bags of cereal. Multiple times.

Dumped one bag of cereal into his toy wagon and carted it around the house.

Poured out several pitchers of juice. Multiple times.

Opened all his birthday presents before his birthday. Twice.

Bit the baby. On the nose and his fingers. Multiple times.

Stole several rolls while they were rising. Reshaped them.

Stole my can opener. Found two days later in a toy bin.

Poured water all over the bathroom floor. Many times.

Smashed his hand in the door.

Got lost at Chuck E. Cheese.

Got lost at Walmart. Multiple times.

Dropped a full box of cookies behind the couch.

Pulled all the pillows and cushions off the sectional. Every day. Multiple times a day.

Stole and lost my phone. Multiple times.

 

Anyway. Just a small sampling of Spencer's last few weeks. There is more but I have repressed it to protect my sanity. Love that kid. More to come on him.

 

I suppose this post will be strictly masculine, because as much dirt as I could dish on the girls, this has become quite a long post. And it's dinner time. My kids are really demanding about sustenance. It's not my fault if I'm trying to starve them in an effort to keep them from growing. So. Until later, after the feeding frenzy has subsided.

 

 

 

 

 

You're Hot, then You're Cold

So. I had this goal to update this blog four times a month this year. Because I love you all. But now that goal has the lofty title of being the first New Year's goal to be kaput. Unless we pretend January didn't happen. So Happy February and Happy New Year!

No, but really. I didn't really have much time to blog this month. I know I like to be a bit sarcastic and light-hearted on this blog, but we can be real enough for one paragraph to admit motherhood is no walk in the park, right? I love all my children like I love chocolate cake, but it's been a rough patch. One of those seasons when every child likes to go through a "challenging phase" at the same time. Now, I'm no shrinking flower when it comes to challenges, but four at a time can really deplete your patience. But we're still alive, and still glad to have four kids, so Warners for the Win!

So, in order to honor the good and the bad, and make you simultaneously desperately want children and as community birth control, here's one awesome and one not so awesome thing about parenting each of of our little rascals. No pictures, because of copyrights and such.

Ethan, the challenging: Worst Sleeper Award: I think Ethan might give Madeline a run for her money for most needy baby. Between teething (1 tooth and counting), and skin issues that make him really itchy, Ethan does not like sleeping. And when he wakes up he lets you know his displeasure with those signature Warner lungs. Combine that with some of the other children and sleep deprivation abounds.

Ethan, the delightful: Baby Laughs: This is not unique to Ethan, but he is in that charming baby stage where his smiles and laughs are free and easy, and everyone in the house is addicted. Nothing can cure the fatigue blues like a good hearty Ethan laugh.

Spencer, the challenging: Busy Bee: Spencer never. Ever. Stops. He is always in everything, attacking the baby for those laughs, trying to eat everything in the pantry, tormenting his sisters, and stealing any electronic device he can get his hands on. We switched him to a toddler bed after Christmas and he has not quite gotten the swing of things, so he is often up until ten or eleven because he sneaks out and falls asleep on the stairs. Which means a long day of busy Spencernkess for Mom and Dad, with no respite when the other kids are fast asleep.

Spencer, the delightful: Every Day is So Exciting: Spencer, at almost two, is constantly in wonder at all the cool stuff around him. A cookie! Wow! A book! Amazing! Nursery! Yay! He is constantly giggling at his good fortune and reveling in all the cool things he's never seen before, and his excitement is a bit infectious. It's hard to stay mad long at that happy go lucky kid.

Kimberly, the challenging: Lest you get weary of hearing how my children never sleep (ha, see what I did there?), we'll choose for our one thing Kimberly's aversion to Primary. She does not like change, and has only successfully attended Primary all the way through a few times. She doesn't want us to leave and gets all puppy dog eyed and cries and has to use the bathroom and gets stomach aches and head aches and is generally pitiful. (Doesn't school sound like it's going to go well?) And she has no qualms about missing singing and fun to come sit quietly in the adult Sunday School class.

Kimberly, the delightful: Little Charmer: Kimberly defitnitely has the gift of charm. She asks adorable questions, mothers her siblings, sings little songs, and every inflection and twirl and smile screams "Love me!" She is a sensitive soul who knows what just to say to melt your heart when she's in trouble, and even when she's in full meltdown mode, she'll shut her eyes and bunch her fists and scream, "I'm trying to listen and be good but I JUST. CAN'T. LIFE IS SO HARD." And you're laughing.

Madeline, the challenging: Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde: Madeline, bless her soul, lives life with a passion that must be exhausting. And as sweet as she is, when something happens she doesn't approve of, she can turn on a pin and start the scariest tantrums you've ever seen. Usually about small, meaningless things, usually ending in her screaming and kicking her bedroom door. As our guinea pig, she has parents who have no tried and true method for dealing with these behaviors, so there are a lot of tears on both sides figuring it out. We'll either get it someday, or start selling tickets.

Madeline, the delightful: Learner Extraordinaire: Can I just say that probably one of the absolute best and most satisfying aspects of parenting is seeing your child learn and master new things? Madeline has grown leaps and bounds in kindergarten, and she can now read entire picture books mostly by herself. And it is delightful. We have so much fun reading together and she constantly startles me with things she knows. I love seeing her use her talents and maybe, someday, become as nerdy and awkward as me.

So, there's a sampling of what's making us laugh and cry lately. If you don't hear from me for a while, I'm just discovering a whole new crop of fantastic and terrible things about my children, and enjoying, if not every minute, enough amazing ones to make it worth it ten times over.