How to teach a human being to control their bodily functions.

So we've been having fun this week. Keeping our New Year's Resolutions and all that. We had a spurt of the home improvement bug, and so we've been having a little fun moving around pictures and clocks and such and confusing ourselves. Now we spin in circles looking at the wall and feeling bewildered.

But beyond that, we're entering a fun new world this week. We decided for reasons unknown to the human race to try a little potty training and see if Kimberly took to it. We've potty trained one child, so pretty much we're experts. And by experts, I mean people who have no idea what they're doing and live by the motto "fake it til you make it". Let me tell you a little bit about potty training. It is a process wherein small children take control of their parents' lives and get spoiled while giving nothing in return. They can't figure out when to relieve their bladders, but they know exactly what avenues to take to score ipad time, suckers, stickers, movies, and other goodies. Potty training is the fruitless search for El Dorado that entices parents time and time again but takes it's sweet time materializing. Potty training is the toddler Lucy grabbing the football from the parent Charlie Brown. Potty training is awesome fun for the whole family.

Let me tell you something else I am learning about potty training this time around. You should never have multiple children when you are potty training. If you have older siblings, they may suddenly develop the need to use the potty twenty times more than normal in a bid for attention. They may also yell "YOU NEED TO USE THE POTTY!"to the potty training target at odd intervals and try to drag them into the bathroom by the hair. They will also require a treat, movies and ipad time every single time their younger sibling has any of these privileges. Now: you should never have a younger sibling around when potty training either. Especially mobile ones. They tend to try to splash in the toilet, unroll the toilet paper, dig through the garbage, steal ipads, and beg for suckers. I have come to the conclusion that the best way to handle this conundrum is to have one child, raise them to age 18, kick them out of the house, and then have another. Repeat.

So. We're having a good time here. Probably we'll be potty training for the next year, because that's how we roll. But never fear. It will give us a lot of quality family time, and a lifetime supply of suckers. Score.