You'll always be two years older than me, sucker!

 Ha! Insert pathetic excuses for inability to blog here. Moving on, it's time, a week late, to honor our venerable patriarch on the anniversary of the commencement of his life journey. This year I thought I'd share with you, in honor of his 28th, the many roles of Jessie Warner. In no particular order:

 

A husband to a wife who gets a little crazy. The patience of that man...is not quite equal to Job. But close. Really close. He could be Job's second in a duel.

 A father to some rambunctious children. Who love him more than me. Stinkpot. But really, who can blame them? Look at that face. Also he bribes them with candy and entertainment.

An able businessman and marketing rockstar. Or so he tells me. Okay, other people tell him and then he tells me. But seriously folks, the finest working mind of our generation.

Our mode of transportation. So we got him his very own identification so the police don't impound him if we leave him parked illegally outside the library.

 Food and drink taster extraordinaire. A most discriminating palate. He makes sure we don't eat crummy food. Because that would be embarrassing.

 Class clown. His job is too make sure we never take ourselves to seriously, and to cheer us up when we run out of fruit snacks and ice cream. He is relentless in this duty.

 Horsey whenever the situation may require. Such as when our van breaks down and we need to get to the county store. Or when the girls need to practice roping and shoeing.

 Our victor and champion in all circumstances. Always fighting for the little people. Since we're all littler than him, that's handy for us.

 The scariest monster you'll ever meet, consuming and tickling small children in a single bound. Except when you catch the monster crying in a corner because no one likes him. But if you assure him he is your best friend ever and sit in his lap and feed him a cookie, he usually feels better and might go back to eating you or your sister.

 Shepard to our little flock, although he is more accomplished with chocolate and timeouts than crooks and fences. Also the sheep have him wrapped around their finger and more often lead him around. But he's the leader in spirit or something like that.

Strong man for all difficult situations, good for opening a can, chasing a spider, or carrying car seats and sleepy children. And he doesn't even have to work out.

I just added a picture of him in a tux because I can. And because he makes it look good.

So you see, we would be quite lost without our brave leader, and we're pretty glad he decided to be ringmaster of this little circus. Happy birthday Senor Warner, and may the odds be ever in your favor! :-)