Keeping it REAL.

So we were awesome this week. We attended our first ever Real Salt Lake game. Well, really our first soccer game ever. Transformative, I tell you. I am contemplating becoming a soccer fan. Contemplating. It's that or quidditch. Because I kind of felt like Harry Potter should be swooping in on a broomstick to take the ball with sll the red and gold. Not to mention the lion mascot. But soccer is awesome too. I am now a soccer expert. I know everything about everything. See, you kick the ball into the other teams net. And sometimes this pesky ref steps in and makes up rules about offsides and fouls and stuff. If these rules help our team, they are good rules. If they help the other team, they are dumb rules and the ref is a biased scumbag. If you're mean you get a yellow card. (They don't actually give it to you, they just hold it in the air. If they actually gave it to you I would collect them and show people how awesomely bad I was on the soccer field.) If you're really, really mean, you get a red card and you can't play with the other kids any more. See, I catch on quickly. Anyway, it was a great game. Because we won. At the last second. Which is intense and awesome and the other team sat down and cried because of our clear superiority. Not even kidding. Mostly Jessie and I enjoyed googling rules and heckling the diehard fans who kept standing up in excitement whenever the ball got near the other goal. You would suppose that since Jessie served a mission in South America, he would come home with a deep and abiding love and knowledge of the game, but you would suppose wrong. He doesn't know anything. Don't tell him I told you because he has a reputation to maintain with the menfolk. Point of the story: you should go see a soccer game. Feel the adrenaline. Sing the Cougar fight song. Or the Real fight song, whichever.