A tale of a day

So some days are awesome. We had a day like that. All the children woke up screaming. That should have clued us in that there was a grand evil plan in the works. Ethan was the instigator. Here's a pro tip from someone in the trenches: If you have four children, never shower. Ever. Even in the dead of night, because that's when a kid will wake up puking or burn down the house or start their own rock band. While I was in the shower, Spencer and Ethan apparently had a friendly conversation. Then I had many small minions breaking down the shower door to tell me Spencer hurt Ethan! Including Spencer himself. (That's my favorite. Spencer likes to tattle on himself. It usually starts, "Mom, I need you. Something happened..." Followed by fun statements like "My room is not clean." "I hurt Ethan." "I started dumping this and I couldn't stop." Pointing to a giant pile of baby power. Or my personal favorite, with a very stricken look, "My pants are very full of poopies...") Anyway, Ethan joins the fray with his mouth dripping blood and the fun really began. Never fear though, the dentist says he will still one day be able to wear dentures. Nah, he just had a torn frenulum and a pretty impressive gash across his gums that the dentist was pretty excited about. But luckily it's all healing up nicely.

Of course, then after we got all that settled, Spencer was running (What? Spencer running? What a strange phenomenon) and biffed it right onto his face and got a nice bloody nose. Luckily Jessie was home because I was about done with my blood quota for the day, and Spencer can bounce back from black plague if you just kiss it and tell him he's okay. But when we came inside to fetch healing herbs and ointments, we realized Madeline tried to carry a giant 5 gallon drink cooler of bright red fruit punch off the counter for a lemonade sale and turned our floor into the Red Sea. (Ha ha. See what I did there? If I had thought of that at the time, Madeline still probably would have been grounded for a month.) So Madeline got to mop for a while which is actually one of her favorite things while everyone else bled except Kimberly. But lest you feel sorry for her for being left out, a few minutes later she was jumping on the bed instead of kneeling for family prayer and somersaulted off and hit her back on the bed frame and was a very sad little girl. So the day started with all the screaming, and ended with all the children screaming. And that, my friends, is show business.