Forever Young

So I am not as cool as I thought I am. We happened to miss an important date a few days ago, and obviously I love Madeline more than Jessie since I got her birthday post done early. But Jessie is a big boy who ties his own shoes and everything, and furthermore he's legally stuck with me, so I'm sure he'll recover. So...Jessie had a birthday! Old geezer. I admit, I have been terrible taking pictures with the camera this year, so we don't have as many pictures of the stud as would be advised. But fortunately, we had someone better with a camera get some shots, so we will forever be reposting those. So smart of us.

See how handsomely and casually he leans upon the post? A genius in leaning. So it would be fun to lie to you about his age, but Jessie would probably catch that and get mad at me. So I'll just tell you he turned a prime number. That's right! 37! You guys are so smart. (If he tells you it's only 29 he's clearly going senile.) Since next year is a big deal, 38 being a big number and all, I keep teasing Jessie that's he's on the brink of senior citizenship. In honor of his advancing years, let's list all the ways Jessie is getting old.

• Instead of lounging around all day at the beach or working at McDonalds, he got a respectable 8-5 job where he does computer stuff all day and cares what his boss thinks and occasionally wears slacks. Boring, right? I mean, I hear rumors they play ping pong all day and throw watermelons off of buildings and stuff. But senior citizens do weird stuff like that too.
• Whenever he participates in sports he comes home with injuries. Sprained ankles, jammed fingers, almost broken noses, strained muscles. Clearly his body is falling apart after years of overuse.
• He got his dream car a couple months ago after convincing me he needed it to commute and stuff. His dream car is a Hyundai Sonata. An old people car if I ever saw one. He tried to get the turbo engine to make it seem cooler, but I was worried about the effect on his blood pressure and nixed that idea for his health.
• He has 3 1/2 children. No explanation needed here. Only old fogies have lots of children.
• He spends most nights watching television on the couch with a pregnant woman. Every night I beg him to take me clubbing or to a midnight movie or a big concert, but he always claims he's so exhuasted after a day with the children and cooking and cleaning and he has a headache and man, gestating a baby is so much work, would I just leave him the heck alone so he can recuperate! Oh wait. That might be someone else. But the point is Jessie is old.

I could go on, but let's not embarrass the old boy. He's got some avid fans around here even if he is elderly, and he's pretty much everyone's favorite. You should see the mobs when he gets home from work. Jessie is pretty awesome, and let's be honest, he makes the world go round here at the Warner household, and pretty much holds everything together with his coolness. We love him a lot. Happy 29th, I mean 37th, birthday Mr. Warner! Here's to a good year ahead.