The price I pay

Today we completed another fun trip to the grocery store. It was fairly uneventful, which is to say, full of tears and chaos and other mundane and normal activity. Sometimes after outings where we resemble a circus more than a hallmark card, I'll see a mother with two or so well-behaved and appropriately age spaced children and think with a little longing about running errands with a few less hands on board. Of course, I love my children, and there's that age old question: which one could I possibly give up to gain a little more peace and quiet? The answer is, naturally, none of them. And today as I processed these musings, it came to me: this is the price I pay. The crazy, noisy, chaotic price I pay. The madness before bed, the fighting and the screaming, the busyness and the destruction. All part of my payment for the life I chose. Which begs the question, what did I choose to pay for?

I choose to pay the price to see four bright and shining faces every day, hopefully smiling and happy, but always calling me Mommy. I am compensated with funny toddler jokes, hugs and kisses, walks to the park, and reminders about the joy of little things. I have been lucky enough to experience the miracle of bringing new life into the world four times, snuggling four precious newborns, seeing four little beings say their first words and take their first steps, and being an active participant in creation. I have the privilege of seeing small brothers and sisters learn to share, to laugh together, to work together, to scheme together. I get to enjoy four different and continuously changing phases of child development, for better or worse, and when one gets hard to handle another will blossom into delight. Can you possibly put a price on being both burdened and blessed with the responsibility of taking four young people on a journey from babyhood to adulthood?

So you see, I pay a pretty hefty price for this life. I have crazy work conditions and supremely hard days and more than a few trips to the edge of my sanity. But my compensation is this:

 

And somehow, when I really sit down and think about it, I feel like I'm getting quite the bargain.