A post to end August and usher in an era of awesomeness.

So I don't want to jinx myself, but I kind of feel like I'm in the land of the living again. The nausea left weeks ago, but apparently my immune system thinks pregnancy=vacation, so I spent most of August being sick. A really long nasty cold, a lot of stomach pain, and just general yuckiness and lack of will to function. But I actually got up and did some things the last few mornings. My floor even got mopped, which says a lot. I did some non essential cleaning tasks. Jessie was impressed. We'll see if it lasts. I'm glad it's almost September. I'm done with August.

Oh, by the way, in case you haven't been able to tell from the last few posts about ME ME ME and Baby, I have some other kids. They're pretty cute. I'm starting to enjoy them again since I have energy to play with them and they somehow found it in themselves to start sleeping in until 6:30, bless their little hearts. We took Kimberly to her nine month appointment and she got poked a lot, which she didn't like at all but Madeline liked a lot because every time she got poked she got a bandaid. She ended up with four and Madeline had fun counting them the rest of the day, while Kimberly had fun having a fever. And not sleeping. Kimberly is thinning out, by the way. It appears despite her chubby babyhood she's going to be exactly like Madeline: long and skinny. She was 75th percentile for height and 45th for weight. And healthy, which is the main thing.

The girls also enjoyed a couple of outings this month. We took them to the dinosaur museum and farm country at Thanksgiving Point because it August and it's cheap. Madeline loved all the dinosaurs, although we had to assure her they were all dead and wouldn't be eating her after Jessie may have insinuated they wanted to consume her whole at the start of the outing. They also both enjoyed the pony rides at Farm country. I believe there are pictures of all these marvelous childhood memories, but they're all on Jessie's phone so they may or may not ever make it into the light of day. Just imagine it was awesome. Because it is always awesome when the Warner family graces the public with our presence.


Anyway. That's the scoop for today. I leave you with a picture of my children to prove they are alive and well and surviving my lack of stellar parenting. Actually, mostly because I think they're cute and worth looking at. That's all we do all day around here. Sit and watch our kids and wait for them to amuse us. It's like having a couple of active puppies that do tricks. And tell jokes. And jump through flaming hoops. Except they substitute each other for flaming hoops because we don't let them play with blow torches.

Everything you ever wanted to know.

So. We've been busy around here. Want to hear about it? Great. I thought so. Basically, we had a wedding. Then we went to the ER. Then we went to Provo. Yep, that's about it. Now we're going to tell you more. Because you know you want it.

Last week my little brother got married. Madeline has been super excited about the event for the last month. She got to be a flower girl, and she loved her pretty dress. We all wore purple and yellow and ate food and tormented my brother and things went pretty nicely. Then they were married and we all went home. That's about what happened.

Then Jessie and I were planning a little vacation. We wanted to ditch the kids and go down to education week at BYU for a few days and relax and have no kids. Basically. The plan was to take off Wednesday morning after my doctor's appointment. So naturally, on Tuesday night I started getting horrible stomach pains. Which is always great when you're pregnant and paranoid. I told myself to tough it out until morning, but after neither Jessie or I getting any sleep we finally went to the ER at one thirty in the morning. Which is the absolute best time to go, because they have CSI marathons on TNT and you have plenty to do while you're not sleeping. So Jessie took the girls home while I sat at the ER for four hours. After some morphine and a bunch of tests they decided they had no idea what was wrong with me and sent me home. So we got home and rolled back into bed about 5:30 in the morning. Let me tell you, I have never attempted an all-nighter before. It was so much more awesome then I imagined. Then, being the smarty pants we are, we got up at seven, took the girls to my parents, and went on our getaway anyway because we had money invested and drat it all, we were going to go get our money's worth! The vacation was actually pretty great. We spent the first day falling asleep in various rooms across campus, but after that we had a blast and enjoyed our time together.

Anyway. That was our fun and exciting week. And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: pictures of my bloated stomach! Because I feel gargantuan. I took so long to show with the girls that I feel like I'm already six months pregnant. The kids in our primary class we subbed today were quick to point that out. I never really did weekly pictures with my other pregnancies, but now that I feel huge I understand the morbid fascination of documenting your downward slide into a ball instead of a human being. I know it's bad because when I complain to Jessie about how fat I'm feeling, he just looks non committal and says, "Well, you are pregnant. You can tell you're pregnant." Which is sensitive husband talk for "Dang woman! You must be growing an elephant in there! " Just kidding. I love my sensitive husband who knows how to answer no win questions. Oh. The pictures. I got distracted.


This was a few weeks ago. It doesn't look as bad as I remember it. But remember, I was only 11 or 12 weeks. Madeline's stomach, by the way, is coming along nicely.


This is today, just shy of fifteen weeks. Feel free to assure me I'm not as huge as I look. I'll know you're lying, but I'll write you down in my book of nice people. And no, it's not twins. Just a football player, apparently. So, that's all for today. We'll see you again in two weeks. Or sooner if I win the lottery or another vacation. Don't hold your breath.

Startling Updates. Prepare your mind.

Hello, all. Lack of posting can only mean one thing- we are going through a sleep phase. But everyone slept in until a whopping 6:20 today, Hallelujah! (You think I kid. I do not. This is late at our house. I am actually pleasantly shocked.) So that leaves me with enough coherency to update you. I know, you all thought we died in Antimony. But I am here to make a startling announcement. We went to Antimony and nothing bad happened. I know. Amazing, right? No major accidents, tricks of fate, health crises, or other tragic turn of events. We enjoyed ourselves. We're planning on going again next year and I don't have anxiety in my stomach. It was our year. The year of the Warners. I hereby declare the rest of the year to be the Year of the Warners as well. While we're at it.

One reason Antimony was good was this little baby:

We bought a van! And we rejoiced and filled it with stuff and drove it around a lot. (Disclaimer: Not the actual van we own. Just a doppelganger from the internet. Please do not be disappointed. You may come stare at the actual van in front of my house if that makes you feel better.) We found a decent deal on a Honda Odyssey and bit the bullet. I love it. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. Not that we do, because we are lazy and tired and pregnant and like to sit on the couch all day watching Oprah. (Oh wait. Is that over? Maybe that's not what we do all day. When I figure it out I'll let you know.) But we could if we wanted to. And we reclaimed our extra parking spot from its communal status and the neighbors were all sad. But sometimes you just have to be selfish and forget your community. Anyway. We're glad we'll have room for three munchkins now without strapping one to the roof.

Other than that, we're enjoying being chill this week. Kimberly learned to climb stairs and developed a keen interest in the bathroom plunger, so that's keeping us occupied. And Madeline spends all day singing I Am a Child of God and Somebody to Love, so we're all entertained over here. Happy August. Seems like every time I turn around it's a new month. Calenders are funny that way. Until next time.