All that she wants, is another baby

Hey everybody! Long time no see. So I may be the queen of excuses, but trust me, this time I have a good one. So for anyone who missed it on facebook, here's our little Easter annoucement:

So, there you go. Awesome reason why blogging has not been top on my list of things to do. Basically, this has been my priority list the last few months:

1. Don't die.

2. Make sure the kids didn't die.

3. Occasionally ask Jessie if he has died.

That's pretty much it. If there's time left over after that extensive list, I might use it to try and clear up the confusion between my house and the local land fill. Through PR releases, naturally, not through actually trying to lessen any resemblance my house bears to the local land fill. Fortunately, we are approaching week 14 and the nausea is abating, so maybe in the future the house will move up the list of priorities. 

Well that just sounds rosy and excited, doesn't it? Don't get the idea that we're not excited. We are thrilled to add another little whippersnapper to the family. We are undoubtedly crazy, and of course scared to death that four children will drive us swiftly to the loony bin, but we're glad and happy and confident this is a good thing for our family. I was reading some Anne of Green Gables during my sickly convalescence and ran across this little gem that sort of sums up my feelings (and reminded me that I was glad to be puking. Glad I tell you) : "Some folks think they (babies) are luxuries,' I said, 'but at Ingleside we think they are necessities." So if I start complaining about feeling yucky feel free to throw that up in my face and I'll give you a dirty look and we'll all feel better.

Here's to October. :-)

Boy oh boy oh boy

Heya. How's it rolling? We've been a bit swamped around here. Literally. The last month has been a bit busy. We've had a few birthdays, some Valentine's exploits, a flooded basement, weeks of sickness in which three of us had ear infections (hint: only one was a minor), Jessie joined a soccer team, and other stuff that I can't remember because I am either sleep deprived or recovering from a sinus infection. I've forgotten which. 

But hey. All that stuff can wait. Because like the awesome mother I am, I'm on a mission to prove the third kid gets the shaft. So only a few days or so late, it's time for one of our poignant and Pulitzer prize winning birthday tributes. And no, I'm not going to talk about how awesome I am, because that would be weird. No, our VIP of the month is this sharp fellow:

(Look! He even got cake! Okay. That's a lie. He already got cupcakes at my mom's and I've been super sick so he got a giant hunk of the ice cream cake Jessie got for my birthday. Poor deprived little son. But he got a special candle. So he's okay.)

Spencer is officially 1! Is it just me, or did that go fast? All of a sudden my little newborn is walking and talking and being a boy. It's nuts. He's pretty cute though. Looks a lot like his dad. So here's a little bio about Spencer. His talents. His quirks. His ambitions.

Spencer is all boy. He has transitioned from being exclusively a momma's boy to loving his Dad. Which, by the way, are the two words he can say: mama and dad. He just figured out walking the last few weeks, and although he is very wobbly, is enjoying his new freedom. He loves his binky, blankets, rolling around in blankets, pillows, ripping up books, food, climbing, destroying, laughing, whining, cars, banging pans, cuddling, following his sisters, escaping his sisters, wrestling, throwing things, and other boy stuff. He is a sensitive little guy, very inquisitive, who likes to kick back and relax. He'll let you know if you have done something to offend him, and then he'll burrow his head into your shoulder and cuddle it out. 

As you can see, he's already into the ipad and the iphone. He likes to try to do everything all the older people do, including talk on the phone, read books, put ear drops in his sister's ear, cook, conduct music, and stay up late. 

 He also enjoys playing in my pan drawer. A lot. When I'm cooking this is where you will find him.

After the doctor's visit, I'm pleased to tell you he's tallish and skinny like his sisters, with a ginormous head. Probably he's going to be a genius. He's healthy and happy. He survived his first year with only few falls and burns and emotional traumas. We've enjoyed having a boy around to break up the estrogen. He's happy and cuddly and awesome and just what we needed. We love him a lot even if he is the third kid. Happy birthday Spence-a-bug! Please go put the pans back in the cupboard now.

Pecadores pueden arrepentirse y sentir la luz.

It's Wednesday night! Time to party hardy over here. So while I have your attention, I would like to inform you of a great announcement that pretty much all of you know anyway, but that is definitely blog worthy. And I try never to neglect blog worthy events. So feast your eyes:

You see that hunk of a man? Well, he was named Lendion of the year by his company. Which is called Lendio. In case you were confused as to what a Lendion is. It is not a person from the country Lendi. But that would be cool. I think I am digressing. You see that awesome shiny trophy? That is proof that that hunk of a man is awesome and hard-working. He kept telling me they like him over there at Lendio, but now I believe him. 

Also: what you cannot see in the picture is Costa Rica. Which is understandable, since Costa Rica is not located in South Jordan. But Costa Rica is a pretty cool place, which is about to get cooler in May, when Jessie and I will take a nice little jaunt down there with several other couples from Lendio. Something about being Lendion of the year. I know. This is stellar news. I think Costa Rica is planning a parade in my honor. Probably. But I told them it wasn't necessary. All I really want, and what Costa Rica can give me, is a week to sleep in. I think Costa Rica and I will be good friends. If you want me to take any messages or cookies to Costa Rica, just leave them on my doorstep in an unmarked brown paper bag.

Anyway. That's all. I just wanted to share the love and joy. And to ask if you think Costa Rican mosquitoes have different cravings than Lehi mosquitoes  Because if they're basically the same I'm going to have to bring a heck of a large can of Off. But I don't mind. Because it's Costa Rica. And a week of sleeping in. In case you missed that part. 

How to teach a human being to control their bodily functions.

So we've been having fun this week. Keeping our New Year's Resolutions and all that. We had a spurt of the home improvement bug, and so we've been having a little fun moving around pictures and clocks and such and confusing ourselves. Now we spin in circles looking at the wall and feeling bewildered.

But beyond that, we're entering a fun new world this week. We decided for reasons unknown to the human race to try a little potty training and see if Kimberly took to it. We've potty trained one child, so pretty much we're experts. And by experts, I mean people who have no idea what they're doing and live by the motto "fake it til you make it". Let me tell you a little bit about potty training. It is a process wherein small children take control of their parents' lives and get spoiled while giving nothing in return. They can't figure out when to relieve their bladders, but they know exactly what avenues to take to score ipad time, suckers, stickers, movies, and other goodies. Potty training is the fruitless search for El Dorado that entices parents time and time again but takes it's sweet time materializing. Potty training is the toddler Lucy grabbing the football from the parent Charlie Brown. Potty training is awesome fun for the whole family.

Let me tell you something else I am learning about potty training this time around. You should never have multiple children when you are potty training. If you have older siblings, they may suddenly develop the need to use the potty twenty times more than normal in a bid for attention. They may also yell "YOU NEED TO USE THE POTTY!"to the potty training target at odd intervals and try to drag them into the bathroom by the hair. They will also require a treat, movies and ipad time every single time their younger sibling has any of these privileges. Now: you should never have a younger sibling around when potty training either. Especially mobile ones. They tend to try to splash in the toilet, unroll the toilet paper, dig through the garbage, steal ipads, and beg for suckers. I have come to the conclusion that the best way to handle this conundrum is to have one child, raise them to age 18, kick them out of the house, and then have another. Repeat.

So. We're having a good time here. Probably we'll be potty training for the next year, because that's how we roll. But never fear. It will give us a lot of quality family time, and a lifetime supply of suckers. Score.

Onward and Upward, to 2013

Hey all. Did you have a Merry Christmas? We did. It was exhausting. Good thing it only happens once a year. But we survived and enjoyed it and now it's time to get down to the serious business of January, which is,  I think I have mentioned before, the coolest month ever. Like a month long hangover of nothingness and cold. Not that I've had a hangover before, but I imagine if I did it would feel like January. Maybe I'll make a chain to count down to February.

However, January it is, and January it will be all month. So we'll just have to suck it up and get down to business. That's right. You may have thought that on my new once-a-month blogging schedule, I would forget to grace you with my traditional New Year's Resolutions Spectacular! But never fear. I have not forgotten, and I am here to resolve and reform and sally forth and improve and retrospect! But since it's no fun to follow through with my own goals, we're going to make family goals. Because I'm pretty sure my children have no pressing plans to resolve and reform and improve, and I find this disturbing. So, here are my suggested goals/edicts for my progeny, partner, and yes, for myself, because I guess I could use some edicts too. Let's do me first so we can get to the fun stuff.

Cami. Resolved:
1. To exercise once in a while. I would put down some hard numbers, but that might foster accountability or something and we can't have that.
2. To play with my kids with reckless abandon at least once a day. Drat it all, I quantified a goal. But I figure resolving to forget about everything else I've resolved to do once a day is somewhere within my range of ambition. Also, I sort of like my kids. They're good-looking and deviously adorable.
3. To look at Jessie once a day and say to myself, "Self, that is one good-looking and hilarious man you chose to marry there. Good call. Carry on."

Spencer. Resolved:
1. To learn to walk. He's close but he lacks motivation. We think either juice or being told he's not as ambitious as his sisters will spur him to action. Or he might sit there and chew on his stuffed bear. Whatever.
2. To learn to call Jessie Daddy instead of Mommy. Although I sort of like the mix-up.
3. To tunnel a secret cave into the floor in which to escape sudden assaults by sisters of the female variety who may want to sit on his face.

Kimberly. Resolved:
1. To learn how to sleep past 6 am. This will solve global warming and usher in World Peace.
2. To enter rehab to kick her juice addiction once and for all. Apple juice can drastically lower your inhibitions, causing you to remove your pants and sing "Santa Baby's coming to town" in public.
3. To learn to potty train with minimal stress and tears. From Mom or Kimber. Because potty training is around #3 on the New York Times Top Ten Ways to Have a Good Time.

Madeline. Resolved:
1. To enroll in acting lessons. We thought this might be a good outlet for her passion and flair for the dramatic. The master plan is to let these forces out in a safe environment instead of, say, at the dinner table or at bedtime.
2. To attend kindergarten and ride a bus. This has pretty much been her New Year's Resolution since April 2008.
3. To have 10 additional brothers and sisters, all at one time, who will reside in the basement in 10 cribs and be cared for exclusively by Madeline, except in the event she wants to take them for a walk, in which case I must accompany her because she is not allowed to take walks by herself. And if they cry, she plans to shut the door to the basement and hang out in the peace and quiet because she is very nurturing.

Jessie. Resolved:
1. To beat Cami at foosball, because we all know she schools him. Every. Time.
2. To buy a pink tie and wear it not infrequently, proving to the world that burly manly men wear pink and work it.
3. To appear on Celebrity Jeopardy and win a trip to Jamaica that he can donate to poor needy college students who support Van Noy for Heisman.

Now I know our New Year's Resolutions are lofty and ambitious, but we are beautiful, humble, refined individuals so I like our chances. We're excited for the new year and the chance to be awesome. You may think that we'll probably forget about these goals and end up watching West Wing every night while eating M&Ms and ice cream, but if you thought that, you would only probably be right. I hope you all made a bunch of awesome goals and practiced writing 2013 instead of 2012 so you don't look dumb next time you go to the bank. Mazeltov.

Warners in living color! Behold!

Hello world! Life has been busy of late. Holidays are the best. And the busiest. We took a nice long vacation to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving, and that was fun. I should probably blog about it. Maybe I will soon. It was a lot of fun and we did a lot of fun things, including eating, sleeping, playing, swimming, not sleeping, walking, and stuff. But that's for another time. First, for another overdue post I've been promising you: pictures! I have  an amazingly talented cousin who does photography, and she took some for us at a park in Draper. I love them. We haven't really ever taken professional family pictures, so this was fun for us, and I don't know why it took us so long. Only six years and three kids. Oh well. I will now share the wealth with you. Those who have seen these pictures on facebook may feel free to twiddle their thumbs and whistle. I was afraid it wold be really cold, but it was actually pretty nice. Madeline got a splinter and got grumpy, and Spencer fell on his face several times during the day in an attempt to look beat up and bloodied, but other than that, all went well and we now have pictures for posterity. You are welcome, posterity. Please enjoy my artful arrangement of the photos. I spent many minutes making them beautiful and geometric and perfect, insofar as my computer allowed me, and then many more minutes putting them wherever because I can't figure out how to make blogger bend to my will. Sigh. But seriously. Check out these exquisite looking people.

Welp. That's us. I sure love this family. They're pretty good-looking and fun to hang out with. Many thanks to Emilee for making us look good. And perhaps there shall be future tales of vacation and stuff we've been doing. Maybe. If my kids quit waking up in the middle of the night. That's all folks.

Now she's almost 3!

 It's been crazy here for the last month. I kind of feel like that's just going to be how it is for the next twenty years. So we do what we can. But we can and must take a break to honor our most recent little milestone achiever:

Kimberly is 2! This has been a long time coming. Mostly because when Spencer was born, Jessie and I started telling people she was "almost 2" when they asked because it made them seem farther apart. But that was nine months ago. We are deceitful liars. This girl keeps us on our toes. And this picture pretty much sums up how life is around here. Awesome. So a little about Kimberly, because she is the star of the show. I would include more pictures, but they're all on Jessie's iphone. Lameness. So pretend there are more awesome images. (Speaking of which, family pictures coming soon, thanks to my extremely awesome cousin!) Anyway. Kimberly. In a bullet list. Because I love me a good bulleted list.

• Kimberly continues to be a medical marvel. I don't know her exact stats, because we haven't been in for an appointment yet, but she's still tall and skinny. And prone to getting sick. We just finished a bout of stomach flu last week. On the bright side, the doctors think they are brilliant geniuses who know why. On the not so bright side, they think it's because she's "sensitive" (not allergic) to, you know, everything, including most dairy and grains, and they want us to cut all these things out of her diet for three months. That's a post for another time. But if anyone out there is a whiz at gluten free cooking, I will hire you to feed Kimber for three months. Remember, we pay in chocolate chip cookies. Which are not gluten or dairy free.
• Kimberly loves to sit and do. This includes mostly books and puzzles. The girl is insanely good at puzzles. She sits and does them all day. As long as they're the kind with a border so she can get started by herself, she can do 24 piece puzzles on her own. She's probably a prodigy. If world peace can be solved with jigsaw puzzles, she's a shoo-in for a Nobel Prize. It's fun to watch her too, because she talks to you while she does them. It goes something like this: "Where does it go? Where does this go? Right there, right? Right? Turn it around! Turn it around! I got it! I'm so smart?"
• She has pretty mad verbal skills too. I don't like to brag, but she's probably going to get tapped to narrate documentaries or something. She repeats everything anyone says, and she and Madeline have awesome conversations/arguments/philosophical debates. Like most kids, it's kind of hard to understand her unless you hang with her all day, but she talks in mostly complete sentences and has a great vocabulary. My favorites: "Help me?", "I'm so funny!", "It's okay Spenceroo, no no Spenceroo!", and "Madeline! Are you coming?"
• She loves baby dolls. A lot. First thing she does in nursery is locate one, and then she's usually okay to stay. She also loves yogurt. (Which she is "sensitive" to, of course.) She wants it everyday for lunch and starts asking about 10:30. She likes to have stories read to her and she loves the "Pie Pad" and gets rather testy if you take it away. "Hey! I playing that! Give it back to me!"
• She throws killer tantrums. She has this sort of Jekyll/Hyde complex. When she's feeling compliant, she is by far the sweetest, most helpful, most obedient of our children. When she's feeling like testing your patience, it's kicking and screaming on the ground, earsplitting levels of noise, and endless supplies of stubborness. More often than not you'll find her watching television with us a half hour after the other kids fell asleep because we gave up and surrendered to save the other children from the screaming. Major diva in the making.
• She loves BYU. She recognizes the logo and will start cheering for them if she sees a football. Like I said, prodigy. Also, picture:

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So, you know, that's a little bit about Kimberly. There's probably more, but I could spend all day talking about her and I should probably browse facebook I mean fold laundry now. But we sure love our Kimber. She entertains Madeline, takes care of Spencer, charms her father, does the dishes, and generally runs the household in her own subtle, devious way. She's pretty cute too. We're glad we can finally say she's two and not be lying, and glad we've got her to keep the family in line. Love you Kimberly! (See, being second isn't so bad.)