Oh. We got a new president. Can he get rid of my cold, please?

Well, we have a new president all picked out. Congratulations to Obama. Frankly, I'm just glad it's all over. I found it hard to be excited about election returns last night. I watched everyone on television crying and screaming and acting like the world had just been declared a war-free zone, and I was unmoved. Don't get me wrong. I don't necessarily dislike Obama. It was a tough choice for me on who to vote for, and I wavered back and forth many times before settling. On who, I won't tell you, because it's more fun that way. And I do think it's really cool that an African American is going to be our next president. But call me racist, I hope people voted for Obama because he's qualified for the job, not just because he's black. Because I think he has plenty of other great qualifications and that voting someone in just because it's historic, be it an African American or a woman or a disabled person or a Hispanic, is a pretty lousy reason. But anyway, back to last night. I'm sitting there listening to the news guy talk about how this is an extremely emotional moment for everyone in the nation, and perhaps the world, and I'm thinking to myself: I felt more emotional when I cried at Dr. Phil today than upon hearing we have a new president. (It's true. Blame it on PMS, but it's true.) So now, while everyone else is celebrating, I'm waiting for this guy to prove himself. I would have felt the same way with McCain. You talk big, Mr. President Elect, but now prove to me that you're better than George W. Bush, and that you know what's best for the country, and that you can fix things with your tax cuts and troop removal plans and change. And in four years, if you put your money where your mouth is, I'll be first to sing your praises and vote you in again. But for now, I'll just be glad I don't have to watch any more campaign ads. And sad that I won't get to see Tina Fay doing Palin impersonations on a regular basis.

Daylight Savings is not natural. Vote no to Daylight Savings.

I felt really smart this weekend when I managed to change all the clocks in our house the night before, correctly guessing which ones would change themselves. I was all on top of everything. Until I realized there was no good way to change Madeline's internal clock. So after many well fought battles to get her on a sleeping schedule we were both comfortable with, she's now waking up every morning at least an hour before I want her to. I try to keep her up later at night, but she doesn't see the logic in it, so we're only making a little headway. I suppose I could just follow her sleeping schedule instead of the clock, but my body is easily fooled. When the clock says 5 am, I think it's 5 am. And when Jessie wants to stay up an hour later because the clock says it's okay, it's hard to feel the urgency to get to bed. So I guess we'll just deal with a week or two of early mornings until we get the baby re-calibrated. Fun times.

Other than that hiccup, and rampant sickness in the Warner household, we had a great weekend of Halloween and too much candy and such. Madeline enjoyed Uncle Bryce's baptism; Aunt Holly said she had to hold her back from jumping into the font, because she thought it was one big bath time for everybody. Our costumes are lots of fun, but alas, I have no pictures, due to the dead battery phenomenon that seems to happen every time I want it. Grandma has a lot of pictures though, so I'll have to steal some. She also knows of my inability to keep my camera functioning, and found me some more rechargeable batteries to kill. So maybe I'll go on another binge and take hundreds of pictures of my kid and post them all on facebook with witty captions and another apology that I have nothing else to take pictures of.

A list of my week's activities for you to enjoy

Sorry about the break in blogging, my devoted fans. Madeline and Jessie have been sick, our car broke again, we've had construction going on at our house, we've been apartment hunting, and Madeline's naps have been sporadic. Also, I have had a lack of motivation. But, rest easy, because I'm back.

So, to run down that huge list of reasons why I'm a slacker: Madeline got her first cold, which has been fun. She's not hugely cranky because of it, except when I'm wiping her nose. Apparently kids hate that. Madeline acts like I'm killing her. So I have an interesting conundrum: let her crawl around with gobs of snot running down her face and let her wipe it everywhere on her hands, clothes, and me, or make her hate me every ten minutes while I become civilized and use a kleenex. Mostly we compromise. If it it gets too bad, I step in, but otherwise I let it run its course and plan to sanitize everything later. Unfortunately, Jessie got sick too; but fortunately, he wipes his own nose. And medicates himself too. So life is good.

We were driving out to Jessie's mom's house over the weekend when our car suddenly started randomly overheating. WE thought a little coolant would do the trick, but alas, the coolant was plenty full. After an exciting journey home, in which we got to sit at freeway exits a few times, staring at each other, waiting for the car to cool off a bit, we took the car in to have the thermometer replaced with a new, better, cooler thermometer. The mechanic is kind of sick of us. He told us we'd better stay away until we're due for an oil change. We told him we're desperate for friends, so we randomly select an engine part to sabotage every few weeks in order to come hang with him and his mechanic buddies.

Our master bathroom is finally being finished, instead of being a big empty hole. Our landlord hired a guy to do the framing and tiling and all that fun jazz, and he's been working evenings to make it usable. I'm recovered from the disappointment of never getting to use the jacuzzi tub. Mostly because I heard they're a pain to keep clean, and I never get time to take baths anyway. Plus, going up the stairs to use the bathroom at all hours of the night has been good exercise.

Since new renters are coming into our house the beginning of December, we've been apartment hunting to find some place to live while Jessie educates himself. We only have two really important requirements: a) it must be cheap to save money for that pesky tuition, and b) it can't seem like it's really cheap. We feel confident such a paradoxical place exists. With washer dryer hookups and cheap utilities. So every day we go out looking for it. So far we've found a few candidates that somewhat equate this dream apartment mixed with reality, and we're going to look at a few more before we commit ourselves. Anyone wishing to suggest an apartment that meets these qualifications, is near Jessie's work in American Fork, and nearby to a beach and Disneyland, is welcome to make those suggestions.

So, that's our life in a nutshell. We're taking a break from all these wonderful things to enjoy Halloween, because I love Halloween. Our costumes are pretty spiffy, if sadly unrelated to each other. Jessie is going to be a hippie (for the coolness of this costume, see it modeled by my brother here), Madeline's going to be the cutest pumpkin ever, and I'm going to be a renaissance princess thanks to my wonderful sister who lent me a costume. Happy Halloween, everybody!

Any thoughts on who I should vote for would be appreciated.

Jessie and I decided to vote early, because we're afraid of having an irritable baby disturbing your valuable voting experience by making a lot of noises whilst standing in a huge long line on election day. Also, Jessie and I don't like standing in huge long lines. So it works out for everybody. The problem with this great plan is that it means I have to decide who I'm voting for within the next few days. My preference tends to change every few days, so I'm afraid by election day I'll already be sorry for whoever I voted for. I have several criteria I'm debating on, some serious and some absolutely ridiculous (a.k.a., so ridiculous I ought to be shot for taking my civic duty so lightly). The serious ones, like moral issues and the economy and voting records and such, I will not be discussing here, since I hate political debate among friends, and unless I see one side as clearly more desirable (such as the debate on Proposition 8 in California), I don't think it's my place to try to tell you you're stupid if you don't agree with me. And I like blogs that make Jessie laugh, which such serious blogs do not do. I will, however, share with you some of the ridiculous criteria that help me sort out the candidates. Just be comforted and rest easy that I actually will be voting on the serious criteria. Mostly.

Okay, here goes. Reasons why I may be voting for McCain. He reminds me a lot of Bush, in that sometimes he's so ridiculous that it makes me chuckle. Laughing at Bush's grammatical mistakes and fun speeches the past four years have enriched my life. So that's something in McCain's favor. Also, he's an old guy. I like old people. After working in a nursing home for a while, I can testify that they make life interesting. So we know the president at least won't be dull. Another consideration: McCain is behind in the polls. I love the underdog. And I hate voting with the crowd. I haven't read Twlight precisely because everyone else has. On another positive note, I like Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impersonations. Also, I think the elephant is a cooler mascot than a donkey.

In Obama's favor, he's black. And before you start calling me racist, let me refer you to the whole underdog thing. Obama may be leading in the polls, but he would be the first black president, which would be cool. He's also way more suave than McCain, which makes me feel good, even if his policies or plans don't. He has little kids, which counts for the pro and con lists, because I like little kids, but I don't think it will be much fun for them having more security around and less time with dad. Ditto on this for Palin though, so on that point it's probably a wash. I like Biden because he rides the train, and ever since we rode the train cross country when I was a kid, I've thought trains were pretty cool. I like to ride Trax just because it's there. Also, (and I apologize that SNL on Thursday nights plays such a big role in my thought processes), the Obama impersonator who talked about being abducted by aliens was pretty funny. So I guess the political satire is a wash too. I'll probably be amused no matter who gets elected. And we all know that's the most important thing.

The doctor's office survived our visit.

Well, Madeline is healthy. Definitely not normal, but healthy. She passed the doctor's appointment with flying colors, and for the curious, now weighs a whopping 15 pounds 6 ounces and is 26 inches long. I was really happy about that, because at her four month appointment, she weighed less than twelve pounds. Now she has rolls of fat in her legs and it actually takes some arm muscle to lift her, so there is happiness in the Warner household. The doctor and nurses were both surprised she was crawling already. They kept asking questions about how well she sat up and if she could support her weight and whether she'd pull herself to a sitting position, and I wanted to just say, "Hey, she's climbing chairs and running after my parents' dog. Why don't we talk about what the heck I'm supposed to do about that?" Okay, she doesn't run after the dog by herself. But she usually won't take steps when you hold her hands. Unless my dog Joey is in the room. Then she squeals and runs. This is why we can't have a dog. Or she'd be walking already. And I would be in despair.

War of the Warners

I told Jessie the other day that I have to keep believing that someday in the near future I will be able to sleep through the night. Otherwise life is depressing. After Madeline's performances the past week, I don't know whether to be optimistic that the day is at hand, or too cynical to think it will ever be reality. Madeline finally developed a sleeping schedule, which was supposed to be a good thing, or so they tell me. Her sleeping schedule involves going to bed between eight and nine, awakening an hour later and crying for her binki, and then waking up two to three hours later and screaming bloody murder for an hour plus. Then she'll wake up between three and five for a bottle, and then between six-thirty and seven for good. If you'll closely examine the gaps between these events, you'll notice they don't leave much time for sleeping. Especially when you have to wrestle back the blankets from your husband every time you return to bed. (Just kidding. He's only done that once or twice. And he's been forgiven after his involvement in the midnight war on Madeline, in which he has risked life and limb to help me keep my sanity.)

After about a week of this, we were getting kind of desperate for a way to beat Madeline at her own game, especially since the weekend and extra napping time for mom and dad were quickly coming to an end. So last night, when she woke up a little early (just after 11) with her infamous deafening scream attack, Jessie put her in her crib, took me upstairs, and didn't let me leave the couch until she was asleep. Madeline tried all her best moves, like the death scream for ten minutes straight, and the sneaky minute of silence followed by a full frontal assault, but Jessie was unflappable. (I was a mess. Not to say Jessie wasn't touched by this gut-wrenching display; he was just more firm in his belief that the 1 AM tantrums had to stop.) And miracle of miracles, after about 25 minutes of a display of Madeline's incredible stamina, there was silence in our household. And we got to go to sleep before midnight. The cool part was that all the screaming seemed to have worn Madeline out, because she slept until 7:30 this morning. UNHEARD OF. I thought she had died from a combination of abandonement and hyperventilation from all the crying. I had to check that she was still breathing. It's the longest stretch of sleep I've gotten in months, and it was beautiful.

We'll have to see if the tide has indeed turned, and Jessie and I are winning the battle. (As we speak, Madeline is once again fast asleep for her afternoon nap, after another tantrum, which can only be described in one word: shorter.) Listening to my daughter scream like that has been a draining and guilt-ridden experience, but I keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the long run. And fortunately, Madeline doesn't hold grudges, and was just as excited to see us this morning as every other morning. And for once, I was rested enough to be fully excited to see her too.

I can shop online and make frozen dinners. I am a domestic goddess.

I would like to report that I folded the laundry and packed the box of books. For those of you who were waiting with baited breath for that update.

And in other news: I've been trying to research high chairs. It's really amazing to me how much you have to know about baby stuff, and how many different products there are out there for every fathomable baby contingency. There are products to help your child sit up on their own before they actually know how, products to help them learn good posture, activity centers, gates, jumpers, bouncers, swings, playpens, cribs, play mats, bathtubs, carriers, big strollers, little strollers, double strollers, boosters, travel seats, car seats, jungle gyms, and every toy under the sun that could possibly entertain/teach/turn your child into a baby genius who writes symphonies and runs marathons. It's all a little overwhelming, actually. I did a lot of research on gates, when we needed one, and there were so many different types that I ended up just getting the one my mom found on clearance, which happened to be a pretty good one, so go me. And my mom. (Thanks mom.) That's pretty much how I selected the stroller, the crib, and the car seat too, which also all ended up being pretty good models with all the features I never knew would come in handy. And which were also all found by mom at killer prices. Strange coincidence. (If you had a mom who was as good at finding blowout prices as my mom, you would let her do the majority of your shopping too.)

And, in other other news, I contemplated being culinary today and trying a new recipe I saw on the Early show. And surprising Jessie with my ingenuity, cooking prowess, and thoughtfulness. Until I realized that I didn't have half of the ingredients (despite the fact that they're very basic), because my kitchen is stocked with frozen foods, meals-in-a-box, and meals-in-cans. Because I really actually can't cook very well. Sigh. Defeated by my own dependence on commercially prepared deliciousness. I never would have made it as a pioneer.